Sipping gently on his cup of hot chocolate, his worried eyes stared over at the person sat in front of him, both hands clasping about the warm mug as if it were some form of life support. It had only really dawned on him that morning that he had a crush on someone, led on mostly by a sweet little dream he'd had the night before, involving things he didn't feel comfortable speaking aloud about. The more he thought about it, the more undeniable it became. He hadn't had a real crush on someone for ages, and it spurred a dreadful feeling in his chest every single time that he tried to think of ways to possibly get around it. And that was how he ended up at Starbucks.
Casper hadn't been at the school for very long. A mere couple of weeks, really, seeing as he hadn't attended the school until after a week of arriving in France. And in that week, he had found that one of the best places to spend his hours was the small, comfortable coffee shop, especially as he had met someone there that seemed to have a wonderful insight into what people should do with their troubles. And that someone was the person sat in front of him, a questioning expression upon his features.
"So, you have a crush on some dude called Barney?"
"Yeah. I mean, no. Barney's a girl, Luke."
"Ohhh." Luke had been sat with Casper for the past ten minutes or so, still in his work uniform whilst the teen before him wore a pair of jeans and a royal blue t-shirt, his jacket rested over the back of the chair. "So, um.. what's the problem? Has she got a boyfriend or girlfriend or something already?"
Casper had never really thought about whether or not Barney was already seeing someone, and it was obvious as he began to look more contemplatively at his drink. He'd never seen her with anyone else.. but then, he hadn't seen her that much outside of their classes together. Not that he hadn't wanted to.. he just seemed to seize up every single time he attempted to bring up the topic of them maybe hanging out outside of class, or every time that he did see her outside of the classroom. He found it almost impossible to gather up enough courage to speak to her and, for anyone who knew Casper, this was a quite strange thing.
It was possibly one of the reasons why Luke and Casper had become relatively good friends in a short space of time - neither of them usually struggled to say what was on their mind, and they didn't usually mind all too much as to how others perceived them. But, it seemed that Casper just couldn't get this across with his new-found crush.
"I don't think she does. I mean, I hope she doesn't," the teen frowned down at his hot chocolate as he spoke, appearing almost disheartened by the fact there was a possibility of it. "Well, I mean I don't hope she's lonely or anything and I'm sure if she did have a boyfriend then he'd probably be amazing because she seems like the sort of person who makes good decisions. Not saying I'm a bad decision, bu-"
"Cas, you're babbling," Luke smiled, watching his friend from the other side of the table. "I get what you mean. So, what's this girl like, then?"
The younger male sighed as that question was asked, a brief silence filtering between them before he allowed himself to speak.
"She's wonderful." A small side smile spread itself across his lips, blue eyes flicking upwards to finally look back across to the older man in front of him. "She's smart, sweet.. she's really friendly, but not in a pushover kind of way. I could imagine her standing her ground against pretty much anyone." It seemed that the more he talked about her, the more that feeling in his chest seemed to swell. It was crazy. He'd only really realised that he had a crush on her that morning and it was already becoming unbearable, but he knew that there was almost no chance that he'd be able to act on these feelings..
"Why don't you ask her out then?"
"Because I'm a bumbling moron." Cas closed his eyes, head tilting back down at his cup, his fingers going to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Whenever I try to properly talk to her, I end up over thinking everything I say and.. then I start worrying that she thinks I'm an idiot, so I pretty much try to abruptly stop the conversation. Guh, I'm such a retard." He groaned under his breath, eyes remaining firmly shut as his mind simply rolled in the self pity he was creating for himself. Casper wasn't typically the sort of person that sat hand-in-hand with his pessimistic views, but there he was.. and it made him feel even more pathetic. He was glad that he was there with Luke, though, knowing that his friend would sympathize on some level with his troubles..
"Oh, come on, man up, dude." Eyes flicked open. Wait, what? "Casper, you're a nice guy and you're pretty easy on the eyes. The worst that can happen is that she can say no."
"No, the worst that can happen is she feels sorry for me, so says yes and then gradually starts to hate me. And then some day I find out that she's actually engaged to some big, tough guy that could snap me like a twig. Then I'd end up emotionally crushed and living on the streets because I started drinking at work and got fired for trying to have a brawl with the office shrub an-"
Smack.
"Ow! Why'd you slap me 'round the back of the head?"
"One, because I thought it'd be too mean to slap you 'round the face. And two, because you were babbling again. Seriously, man, just go and ask her out. The more time you spend worrying about it, the more anxiety you're going to build up for yourself. Just get it over with. If she says no, you can start on the road of recovery. If she says yes, then we can talk about how you're a bumbling moron with a wonderful girl on your arm." Luke smiled over at Casper, a reassuring tone to his features. "Come on, you can do it."
The teen nodded his head as he took in the older male's words, processing them gradually in his mind. He was right.. maybe he should just try and do this. Maybe everything would work out. Standing up from his chair, Casper grabbed a hold of his jacket and slipped it over his arms.
"You're right. I'm gonna do this. I'll go and see her right now." With that, and a short nod, he headed out the door of the coffee shop.
"Okay. I guess I'll pay for your hot chocolate, then!" Luke grinned and shook his head, deciding that he should maybe get back to work.
---
It took barely five minutes for him to be standing outside of Barney's dorm, fist held just a few centimetres away from the door in preparation to knock. He stood there, staring. Oh god, was he really about to do this? What if she said no? What if she wasn't there? What if some random, hot French dude answered the door, mumbling something unintelligible about screwing a purple and green dinosaur? Eyes widened and breath hitched in his throat, his arm acting of its own accord as his fist knocked against the wooden door before him. Crap. He'd knocked. Crap crap crap crap.
Mere seconds later, the door swung open, revealing the girl that made his heart thump harder in his chest, almost threatening to break out past his ribs. Over her legs were a pair of dark jeans whilst a simple purple shirt covered her torso. She looked just.. so cute, and her light smile made his mind swim with thoughts.
"Hi, Casper. What's up?"
"Buh.." Oh god, his words were failing him already. He needed to talk properly. He needed to manage those simple few words. "Bu-erm.. um, I.. I was, um.."
'Oh, spit it out, you idiot.'
"Y-you, maybe.. I.." He breathed out of his nose after his failed words tumbled from his lips, brows coming together before.. he just gave up. Turning on his heel, he began to walk away from her dorm, hands slipping inside his jean pockets, feet ever speeding up the further down the corridor he got. Ignoring any questions that followed him, he simply rushed away, making his way down the main stairs until he was finally out in the fresh air. Sighing, he closed his eyes as his body faced out to the rest of the school grounds, hands going to rest at the back of his neck. He just couldn't do it. He didn't want her to find out he liked her.
He didn't want her to reject him.
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