I'll hold onto this feeling, and I won't let go.

Jasper's head tilted to one side, a curiosity overcoming his features. Though his brow furrowed, there was no sense of anger or shock. It was an innocent, child-like wonderment as his legs brought him further into his apartment, gaze settled upon the sleeping figure rested upon his sofa at the other end of the room. The male recognised who it was immediately, but he still couldn't understand why she would be there. Pale irises swept over the calm body upon the dark cushions, her light skin quite an admirable contrast against the deep brown materials surrounding her.

Compelled by nothing but a slight amusement, a gentle smile tilted onto his lips, eyes very briefly seeming to light up as his arm reached to close the door behind him, their usual intensity just melting away. Pulling the coat from his shoulders, Jasper gradually stepped further into his home, drawing closer towards the sofa. As he neared, he noticed something different. Upon her cheeks rested a cool layer of moisture, damp patches now visible across her skin as the light streaming through the curtains shone across her features. Tears had collected across her eyelashes, thickening the short hairs to the point where they appeared far bolder than he was typically used to seeing.

Placing his coat down onto the coffee table, the male settled himself down upon the edge of the couch, his body close to where Lucy was rested. Eyebrows came together as a wave of sympathy seemed to wash over him, something he wasn't entirely used to feeling. The girl before him had suffered things that no typical teenager could ever understand, with her ability and the relationships she had fallen victim to, and that sympathetic pang couldn't help but slip forward in his mind when he saw the evidence of her weaknesses. She was a strong girl, and that was what had drawn him to her in the first place. Jasper thrived on getting under peoples' skin, and it had been like that with Lucy to start with, but confusion quickly took over him when he started to want her to do more than just solely depend on him. He didn't understand it, but he began to trust her, and see her as a little more than a puppet he could control.

His fingers gingerly went to stroke against her cheek, ignoring the damp and simply carressing against the skin. He wanted to comfort her, make her feel better. She deserved it and, as much as he tried to bury it away, he wanted to be the one to make her feel right again. Jasper had taken advantage of her vulnerable state more times than he could count, whether it had been physically or emotionally. He'd taken from her without really giving much back, simply covering over the cracks by filling her with the slight belief that everything was okay. He had taken away her pain, and he supposed that was something. But his growing weakness for her didn't want to just cover it up, didn't want to just make her believe that all was right with the world. He wanted it to be true - at least to some degree.

The solemn look upon his features was not a familiar one, the sympathetic tone that riddled every muscle in his body. From how his gaze watched over her sleeping state, to how his fingers lightly touched against her skin and slowly through her hair.. these were signs of the different side that Lucy brought out of him. It was a side he didn't understand, a side that he didn't particularly care for. It scared him how vulnerable it was. His feelings for her were his weakness, and he could never let anyone see that. His hand slid to rest on her shoulder, thumb gently running against the material of her shirt as he started to partially stand, leaning over her. She looked so peaceful, the only thing hinting to her upset being the skin around her eyes, the tears staining her flesh. Pressing a small kiss against her forehead, Jasper leant over and grabbed the blanket that rested between the wall and the top of the sofa, unfolding it and splaying it out over her calm, resting figure.

With that, he settled down on the floor beside the sofa, his back to the girl that had caused so much confusion within his thoughts. He wanted to be there when she woke up. He wanted to take care of her. Tilting his head back upon the plush cushions behind him, his gaze settled on Lucy again, his features only expressing the concern he had for her. He didn't understand the feelings she stirred within him, he just knew he didn't want those feelings to end. He didn't want to let it go.

No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget.

Cleo had always had a certain innocence about him. It wasn't that he didn't understand, or didn't see the more mature meanings of other peoples' words, it was more that he had a child-like reaction to them. There'd be a light flush of red upon his cheeks if anyone questioned him about his bed habits, or anyone decided to dish out the dirt about their own. Gore freaked him out and violence wasn't exactly a favourite pass-time of his. Though others may laugh about it, he'd always feel safer if there was at least one light in the room turned on. It was how he was. Even with his more rebellious days, this side of Cleo had always been there, lurking beneath the surface.

It was probably what made his ability's development all the more unfair.


The male's eyes clenched together as he stumbled through the hallway, fingers attempting to grasp at something, anything, that could guide him back to his dorm. The cool plaster felt nice against his skin, but it brought no comfort to his nerves, nor did it give him any indication that he was closer to his destination. His breathing was ragged, his chest rising and falling at an unsteady rate whilst his eyelids remained tightly closed, protecting his green irises from whatever it was that he didn't want to see. But it was still there, in his head.. an image that he debated was maybe formed by some cruel part of his imagination, or the result of a twisted person's mind games.

Cleo had never been faced with the long-term effects of death. His ability was one that allowed him to defy that aspect of life, at least a certain number of times. He'd frequently joked that he would always be one up on a cat because he got ten lives instead of nine. It was probably with slight irony that his latest near-death experience probably could have been avoided had he always been able to land on his feet. But today.. today had decided to dredge something up and drown his usual happy self whilst draining every inch of warmth from his cells.

It was out of the corner of his eye that he first noticed it. Something off - not quite right as a girl a couple of years below him had skipped on passed him down the corridor. He'd thought nothing of it to begin with, his thoughts instantly settling on the conclusion that he really needed to sleep more. But the further he walked, the more he noticed, the more the slight hints his peripheral vision was giving him began to creep further into his view.

There was a young man walking probably eight or nine steps ahead of him, his clothing consisting of the typical school uniform, the usual blazer absent and the shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Cleo wasn't entirely sure what brought his attention to it first, but as his gaze skimmed over the male's back, he noticed his arm.. The skin was grey and peeling, a certain absence of flesh in various areas to reveal the dirty white of bone. Around the rotting wounds settled dried patches of blood, some appearing smeared whilst others more spattered. The simple sight made Cleo's eyes widen, his feet stopping in their tracks as he couldn't help but stare, unable to believe just what it was he was seeing.

And that was when someone else walked down the corridor towards him, their features mimicking the appearance of the other student's arm. Cheeks were worn, the girl's hair appearing as lifeless as her eyes. Those eyes.. the hollow grey that stared absently ahead, ignoring the young male staring after her, fear obviously striking his heart.

Blinking frantically, Cleo rubbed his palms against his eyelids, head shaking slightly as if it was all just some weird trick of the light. As he allowed his eyes to open, the vision before him shocked him to the very core, confusion rushing as strongly through his veins as his heart was currently beating. The palms of his hands were decayed, skin peeling though not enough to shed, his fingers thin to the point there seemed almost nothing to them. His arms were of a similar shade to the others', though they appeared more aged and worn, lacking the red-tinted stain across the flesh.

His heart was racing. He didn't know what was happening to him. Cleo tore his gaze away from his own form, abruptly turning around, hoping to maybe see someone chuckling in the corner, amused by their own little trick. Or hoping to see someone normal, someone familiar that looked like they did every single day. Without really thinking about it, his feet began to carry him down the hallway, pupils frantically flicking about the walls surrounding him, confusion and fear being the only two emotions to really register behind those eyes of his. Voices could be heard at the end of the corridor, as could the bustling of students as they set about their usual business. The closer he got to the noises, the more he came to dread the sight that could lay ahead of him. He couldn't take it, his fear warning him to turn back, to run away from the sights that could lay ahead.

That was the moment that he felt something touch against his shoulder, a hand reaching out, grasping a light hold of his upper arm. With a start, the teen jumped, his heart skipping a beat whilst his body wildly flung itself to turn and face whoever it was that had grabbed him.

"Hey, dude, you okay?"

Cleo's blood ran cold, eyes widening even further in horror, stinging with fearful tears. The boy in front of him didn't look like your average male. Blisters marked his skin from top to toe, his flesh peeling much to the extent of the others'. His eyes, though his features would suggest showed concern, appeared hollow, cold. Dead. Thinning tufts of dark hair lingered upon his scalp, clinging to the decaying epidermis, determined to remain in place.

Within seconds, Cleo was running. He didn't care where he went, as long as he could get away. He didn't know what was happening to him, why his vision had suddenly turned against him, forcing him to be haunted by images of what he had just seen. That was why he ended up in the corridor to the boys' dorms, eyelids clenched shut to the point it could have probably been painful. Tears were readily streaming down his cheeks now, his breaths ragged and mouth hanging open, gulping in the air as quickly as it was escaping him. He'd never been so scared, so uncertain.

As difficult as it was, the male counted along each door that he passed, attempting to find his own without having to expose his irises to anything other than behind his eyelids. Fingers felt about for a number upon each door, relief only hitting him when he finally found the one he was looking for, his forehead touching against the wooden frame. It didn't take long for him to unlock the door, his legs rushing to carry him in, hands shoving the door in an attempt to close it as he stepped further into the room. His shoulders shook, fingers raising to brush through his hair, remaining at the back of his cranium for a moment before dropping down to his sides. He couldn't understand what was happening to him, why it was happening to him. Sinking to his knees, he knelt upon the ground, curling forwards until his forehead touched the carpet. Even then, he didn't open his eyes. Even then, all on his own, he dared not to.

-to be continued-

Your hands were shaking.

Julian could usually handle stress. He was resistant to things that would drag the typical person down. His optimism would always shine through at the right moment, bringing his mood right back up from whatever it was that taunted his mind with feelings of doubt or unhappiness. He was resilient, and he'd always just say that it was one of those personality traits that he picked up from his family. His parents had had their hard times, and their strength had just passed on to him. Julian knew that was a blessing, and he knew that many things that he had in life were so much better than what others around him had to suffer, and it was why the male refused to complain about the things littering his thoughts. He kept those negative emotions tucked away, allowing them to gather dust until not a soul in his home could hear his muttered words of distress, or his occasional pleads for things to get better. For the pain to ease.

It had only been in the past few weeks that these emotions had been allowed to venture out beyond his personal reflections, that the tone that laced his words started to contain a sharpened edge. Julian was never one for harsh exchanges, and he avoided confrontations at all costs, especially with those closest to him but, now.. he couldn't stop that deep-seated anger and upset bubbling within him, steadily boiling over and streaming readily towards anyone who uttered just a single word of complaint. His reasons for this were obvious, especially today of all days.

The thirty-two year old stood outside, back rested against the wooden front of the church, eyes vacant as he stared down to the cobbled ground that he had walked over just an hour previous. The walk had been brief, but it felt like a lifetime. It was a walk that he never should have had to make, not with that weight upon his shoulders. Tears welled up in his eyes from just thinking about it, thinking how those moments were going to be with him forever, where his little girl should have been in place. He was supposed to have a lifetime of memories, things to reminisce about, but now he was stuck with that short journey between the undertakers' car and those church doors, nothing else able to bring any form of light to his darkened outlook.

A cloud of smoke drifted from parted lips as he stood in silence, arms folded across his chest. A dark suit adorned his relaxed frame, a black tie wrapped loosely around his neck, allowing for just one button to be undone. His shoes were buffed and polished, and his general appearance was smart, but he lacked that approachable air about him. His pale blue eyes were cold and empty, whilst his other features simply offered nothing, a blank stare setting in. The male could hear voices inside of the church, but they only appeared as monotonous as his thoughts, nothing comforting in the fact that he was not entirely alone.

Taking another drag from his cigarette, Julian attempted to suck in that contentment it could usually provide, only finding it to be lost the second that grey smoke exited his lungs. It seemed that his absence was noticed, however, as another male exited through the large wooden doors, a searching expression taking a hold of his features, quickly followed by an almost sense of relief as his brown gaze settled upon his cousin.

Julian hadn't entirely expected for Alex to show up. Not because he didn't care, but because he wasn't exactly the best at handling such situations. Like Julian, in a way, he ran away from the sensitive subjects, attempted to live his life with a firm grasp upon his ideals, many of which actually differed from his younger cousin. Although Julian didn't look up to the male, he could tell how awkward he was beginning to feel, how uncertain of his words he had become in the space of just a few hours. Everything about that day had just struck down any form of cheery conversation that could be shared between the pair, words that could usually so easily be exchanged just.. vanished. There was no real smiles, no laughing, no joy behind their eyes. Just a sense of awkwardness that engulfed them entirely, obvious from Alex's struggle to form any form of constructive sentence.

"Um.. so, it's kind of cold today, isn't it?" That was the best he could do. Were Julian on the outside-looking-in, he'd have surely managed to crack a smile, just because he knew that his cousin had been trying to prevail over the situation by bringing up a non-challenging subject. It was something that anyone could talk about, something that might not lead back to the unhappy events that led up to that moment. But he wasn't on the outside-looking-in.. he was right there, and he barely took notice of the words entering his ears, absently responding, his expression remaining the same.

"I hadn't really noticed." It was an honest answer, but one that hardly could stem a deeper conversation. Taking in another breath of smoke, the sympathetic glances he received weren't entirely ignored, but then also weren't registered. Julian felt numb to such things after weeks of suffering beneath them. Apologies didn't make things better, they just served as a reminder of what had happened. 'I'm so sorry for your loss' didn't bring her back. Nor did it ease the pain he felt in his chest whenever so much as her name was mentioned. Looks of sympathy did nothing, either, and he grew to resent such things - things he had been forced to endure for the entire day.

"Oh. Well, it feels cold. Not weirdly cold, just.. cold." Alex truly was struggling with his words, uncertain of what was okay to say and what wasn't. He wasn't always particularly careful about how he spoke, but then.. he cared about Julian and didn't want to upset him any more than he already seemed. The man stood in front of him was not his cousin, more like an empty shell, a pressure weighing down on his heart, steadily cracking his exterior. It was a sad sight, and Alex wasn't sure what he could do. Almost automatically, his hand reached out and touched against Julian's arm, fingers clasping gently. He may not have had the words, but he wanted the man to know that he was there for him. It was the best he could give.

"Look, Julian, I-" At that moment, footsteps could be heard approaching where the two men were stood, the echoing sound of heels filtering out of the church doors, steadily drawing closer and closer. Until, finally, a young woman emerged. She looked not a day older than twenty-one, though her true age lingered in the early thirties. Her beautiful blonde locks were tied back into a tight pony-tail, a neat side-fringe sweeping across over her forehead. Despite her youthful looks, there was an obvious maturity about her, especially behind those blue eyes.. those blood-shot, blue eyes.

"Julian, do you really have to smoke right now?" Her voice was sharp, a neat contrast against her softened features. Elizabeth was a sweet woman, but she had grown up with a judgemental side, a way about her that could make some feel as if they'd just been dragged through some form of disapproving mud. "You're pretty much standing inside the church. Can't you control yourself until we get home?" Her voice was more whispered now, eyebrows coming together, a stern twist over-coming her features.

Sucking in another drag of that nicotine-soaked air, Julian maintained eye contact with the floor, his response escaping as freely from his lips as the smoke expelled from his lungs.

"I don't hear God complaining." He'd never really been one for religion, and it was at times like these that he understood exactly why. If there was some kind of higher power, someone who was supposed to look after them, then why did things like this happen? Why was his innocent, little, baby daughter no longer with them? Hadn't she deserved a full-life like the rest of them? Finally, Julian tore his gaze up from the cobbled ground, passing over Alex and then directly to his wife.

"Julian!" It was a hushed exclamation, though the anger behind it was obvious. After a few moments, however, she tried to compose herself, taking in a deep breath before speaking once more. "Please put that cigarette out. I don't want my family finding out that you smoke." It was true that the male had always had to hide the fact that he had his little nicotine addiction, sneaking away after meals with them just so he could have those few minutes to himself. Ever since he and Elizabeth had met, she'd disliked that part of him, disliked the fact that he had a more tainted past than her own. But she loved him despite that, choosing to ignore his flaws as much as she could, though she struggled not to remind him of them.

It was almost as if Alex wasn't there now, Julian's entire focus having shifted to his wife, his brow furrowing at her words.

"We're at our daughter's funeral.. and you're worried about your parents finding out that I smoke?" It wasn't exactly a question, more something he had to get straight in his head. He had grown used to the occasional lecture. It had just been part of their married life - they had always been happy otherwise. Julian would just nod and smile, ignoring the idea of confrontation, deciding it's for the best she just lets her frustrations out on him instead of suffering otherwise. But he just couldn't let it slide.. not today. That anger that kept seeping out of him just continued, now directed at the woman standing directly in his line of fire.

"Elizabeth, listen to me, because I'm not saying this again. I couldn't care less what your parents think of me right now," his words were calm, steady, but the hand holding his cigarette was starting to shake. Only slightly, but it was still noticeable. "I'm out here trying my hardest to deal with what's happened, and you've chosen now to lecture me about life choices I made when I was a teenager."

Alex almost felt compelled to pipe in a, "For which I'm responsible for," with a cheeky grin, but he resisted, realising that now was definitely not the time to try and get a pleasant reaction out of the pair. Instead, he just remained silent, staring wide-eyed at the two of them, not entirely sure what to expect. Taking a final breath from his cigarette, Julian turned slightly, hand moving to press the stub against the wall of the church that he was leant upon, allowing it to then drop to the ground.

"Is that better now?" Julian's eyes remained as cold as they had before, the usual warmth and cosiness seeming to have seeped away somewhere along the line. Taking one final glance at his wife, Julian slide between her and Alex, aiming to walk away from the church, aiming to walk anywhere away from that moment.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Thanks for coming," were his parting words before he simply ventured off, ignoring whatever it was that was shouted after him. He just needed to be alone. He needed to deal with some of this on his own. He couldn't let himself break down. But as he walked away, he could feel his hands shaking further, that familiar stinging sensation filtering through to his eyes. The same two words just kept repeating over and over in his head, strengthening each time around, but weakening his defences with each and every hit.

She's gone.

And there was nothing he could do to get his baby girl back.

One shot.

Casper was usually relatively good when it came to expressing his feelings. He had an incapability of holding his tongue when he wanted to, especially about matters he was passionate about. But, recently, it seemed like he simply couldn't get the words out. Not to the person that it really mattered, anyway.

His pen scribbled down some notes as he tried to listen as intently as possible to what the teacher at the front of class was saying, eyes behaving themselves by remaining focused on the board instead of the girl sitting beside him - the girl that had caused so much chaos and confusion in his head. Barney was someone that Casper enjoyed spending his time with, someone who helped him when he had problems with his work, someone that made him smile, even after having a tough day. She may not have realised it, but she'd become a part of the group of few people that Casper felt he could trust and that he couldn't help but feel protective over. Barney was just so wonderful to him, be it with her actions towards him or just the general way about her. He could never pinpoint exactly what it was that drew him closer to her, until he figured that it was pretty much everything.

Biting against his lower lip, the teen stared down at his notes, glancing over them hazily. He had barely been paying attention to what he was writing, just letting whatever words apparently glided through his ears be scribbled down on the page. It was obvious that he was distracted, especially as the margins on his pages were filled with mindless doodles and the occasional few words that didn't seem to make any sense. Oh god, this was stupid. He needed to tell her. Tell her properly, not whilst he was tipsy and not over text.

Casper could remember that day when Luke had told him to just get it over and done with, to accept whatever she had to say back to him once he revealed his feelings to her. But, fear of getting rejected by her, letting her know just what went on in his head, took the teen over the moment his eyes had settled upon her, standing just outside of her dorm. The smallest of smiles curled onto his lips as he thought about it. She'd looked so sweet, so wonderful, and it didn't take any effort on her part for that. There was so much about her that he admired, not just her looks, but how she generally was. He'd never asked her to help him keep up with his studies, but she did. He'd never asked her to look after him after he'd passed out, naked, near the girl's dorms, but she did. And he'd never asked her to so effortlessly rope him in, but she did.

The male's pale blue eyes flicked up towards the clock at the front of the class as a bell sounded to signal the end of the lesson. Had it really been an hour already? Crap. Another lesson wasted as he sat with the definite answers to his questions, but lacked the courage to carry out the actions described by them. Sighing, he began to pack away his things, sliding his chair out from under him as he stood himself up. At least it was the last lesson of the day, at least now he could try and find something to distract himself from his thoughts, instead of trying as hard as he could not to look over towards the centre of his affections.

Casper typically got quite wrapped up in his mind and the many things streaming through it. He may have been one that usually said what he was thinking, but this was one of the matters where he simply couldn't say anything aloud about it, not yet. But, he'd become so engrossed in the words filtering about within his cranium, that he simply didn't notice the girl leaning towards him, and it took several moments before he realised just what was happening.

Eyes widened slightly as the girl drew away, the sensation of her lips against his cheek still remaining, even seconds afterwards. His head turned to one side, gaze settling upon Barney's form, noting the sweet smile upon her lips. Confusion started to rope itself around the boy, a curious expression taking to his features as a sort of side smile tilted itself onto his face. It took a moment or two for the words to form, the only words that he could really think to say.

"Um, what was that for?" It was probably just a friendly gesture. She'd probably heard him sighing as he'd started to put his books away, supposing that maybe he was feeling a bit down. Yeah, that sounded logical. But even with a logical answer settled within him, he still couldn't not ask why she had decided to kiss his cheek.

"Because I like you."

She said it quite simply, only taking a brief pause between his question and her response. Her voice was calm and, to Casper, it could have sounded like she'd just decided what she wanted to do and did it. It didn't sound like she'd been debating such a thing for ages and only just got the courage to do it, like he had. After she had spoken, Barney turned slightly to pack away her books, placing them nicely and neatly into her bag.

So, she liked him.. like he liked her? Or did she mean that she just liked him as a friend? But then, how many friends kiss someone on the cheek to simply demonstrate that they think of them as a friend? Casper couldn't help but just stand there, silently dumbstruck for a few moments as he thought everything over. But then it occurred to him.. he'd been over thinking everything about this. Barney had just kissed him on the cheek and told him that she liked him, and he was too busy deciding how to take it instead of really reacting. Surely that was worse than doing something like admitting that he liked her, too.. allowing her to know just how much he liked her. Within a small second, Cas knew that he had to go for it. He simply couldn't lose this chance.

Nibbling softly against his lower lip, a hand reached out, fingers tugging gently on the side of the girl's school shirt, repeatedly doing so until she turned to face him again, noting how she slid her back upon her shoulder. Without taking a moment, Casper leant down slightly, this time, instead of feeling her lips against his cheek, he felt the same sensation upon his own lips. The hand that had been tugging on her shirt remained where it was, loosening only slightly, able to partly feel her skin through the material. He was kissing her. Casper Summers was finally kissing his crush, finally letting go of the reluctance he felt for letting her realise his true feelings.

Leaning back from the kiss, Casper managed the smallest of smiles, trying as hard as he could to maintain some kind of a calm exterior.

"I like you too," he murmured, teeth once more biting against his lower lip briefly, his nerves shining through in one simple action. "I really, really like you."

-to be completed-

Heels over head.

Casper had a crush. Oh god, he had a crush. He didn't want a crush, but there it was. There it always was, lurking about in the back of his mind.

Sipping gently on his cup of hot chocolate, his worried eyes stared over at the person sat in front of him, both hands clasping about the warm mug as if it were some form of life support. It had only really dawned on him that morning that he had a crush on someone, led on mostly by a sweet little dream he'd had the night before, involving things he didn't feel comfortable speaking aloud about. The more he thought about it, the more undeniable it became. He hadn't had a real crush on someone for ages, and it spurred a dreadful feeling in his chest every single time that he tried to think of ways to possibly get around it. And that was how he ended up at Starbucks.

Casper hadn't been at the school for very long. A mere couple of weeks, really, seeing as he hadn't attended the school until after a week of arriving in France. And in that week, he had found that one of the best places to spend his hours was the small, comfortable coffee shop, especially as he had met someone there that seemed to have a wonderful insight into what people should do with their troubles. And that someone was the person sat in front of him, a questioning expression upon his features.

"So, you have a crush on some dude called Barney?"

"Yeah. I mean, no. Barney's a girl, Luke."

"Ohhh." Luke had been sat with Casper for the past ten minutes or so, still in his work uniform whilst the teen before him wore a pair of jeans and a royal blue t-shirt, his jacket rested over the back of the chair. "So, um.. what's the problem? Has she got a boyfriend or girlfriend or something already?"

Casper had never really thought about whether or not Barney was already seeing someone, and it was obvious as he began to look more contemplatively at his drink. He'd never seen her with anyone else.. but then, he hadn't seen her that much outside of their classes together. Not that he hadn't wanted to.. he just seemed to seize up every single time he attempted to bring up the topic of them maybe hanging out outside of class, or every time that he did see her outside of the classroom. He found it almost impossible to gather up enough courage to speak to her and, for anyone who knew Casper, this was a quite strange thing.

It was possibly one of the reasons why Luke and Casper had become relatively good friends in a short space of time - neither of them usually struggled to say what was on their mind, and they didn't usually mind all too much as to how others perceived them. But, it seemed that Casper just couldn't get this across with his new-found crush.

"I don't think she does. I mean, I hope she doesn't," the teen frowned down at his hot chocolate as he spoke, appearing almost disheartened by the fact there was a possibility of it. "Well, I mean I don't hope she's lonely or anything and I'm sure if she did have a boyfriend then he'd probably be amazing because she seems like the sort of person who makes good decisions. Not saying I'm a bad decision, bu-"

"Cas, you're babbling," Luke smiled, watching his friend from the other side of the table. "I get what you mean. So, what's this girl like, then?"

The younger male sighed as that question was asked, a brief silence filtering between them before he allowed himself to speak.
"She's wonderful." A small side smile spread itself across his lips, blue eyes flicking upwards to finally look back across to the older man in front of him. "She's smart, sweet.. she's really friendly, but not in a pushover kind of way. I could imagine her standing her ground against pretty much anyone." It seemed that the more he talked about her, the more that feeling in his chest seemed to swell. It was crazy. He'd only really realised that he had a crush on her that morning and it was already becoming unbearable, but he knew that there was almost no chance that he'd be able to act on these feelings..

"Why don't you ask her out then?"

"Because I'm a bumbling moron." Cas closed his eyes, head tilting back down at his cup, his fingers going to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Whenever I try to properly talk to her, I end up over thinking everything I say and.. then I start worrying that she thinks I'm an idiot, so I pretty much try to abruptly stop the conversation. Guh, I'm such a retard." He groaned under his breath, eyes remaining firmly shut as his mind simply rolled in the self pity he was creating for himself. Casper wasn't typically the sort of person that sat hand-in-hand with his pessimistic views, but there he was.. and it made him feel even more pathetic. He was glad that he was there with Luke, though, knowing that his friend would sympathize on some level with his troubles..

"Oh, come on, man up, dude." Eyes flicked open. Wait, what? "Casper, you're a nice guy and you're pretty easy on the eyes. The worst that can happen is that she can say no."

"No, the worst that can happen is she feels sorry for me, so says yes and then gradually starts to hate me. And then some day I find out that she's actually engaged to some big, tough guy that could snap me like a twig. Then I'd end up emotionally crushed and living on the streets because I started drinking at work and got fired for trying to have a brawl with the office shrub an-"

Smack.

"Ow! Why'd you slap me 'round the back of the head?"

"One, because I thought it'd be too mean to slap you 'round the face. And two, because you were babbling again. Seriously, man, just go and ask her out. The more time you spend worrying about it, the more anxiety you're going to build up for yourself. Just get it over with. If she says no, you can start on the road of recovery. If she says yes, then we can talk about how you're a bumbling moron with a wonderful girl on your arm." Luke smiled over at Casper, a reassuring tone to his features. "Come on, you can do it."

The teen nodded his head as he took in the older male's words, processing them gradually in his mind. He was right.. maybe he should just try and do this. Maybe everything would work out. Standing up from his chair, Casper grabbed a hold of his jacket and slipped it over his arms.
"You're right. I'm gonna do this. I'll go and see her right now." With that, and a short nod, he headed out the door of the coffee shop.

"Okay. I guess I'll pay for your hot chocolate, then!" Luke grinned and shook his head, deciding that he should maybe get back to work.

---

It took barely five minutes for him to be standing outside of Barney's dorm, fist held just a few centimetres away from the door in preparation to knock. He stood there, staring. Oh god, was he really about to do this? What if she said no? What if she wasn't there? What if some random, hot French dude answered the door, mumbling something unintelligible about screwing a purple and green dinosaur? Eyes widened and breath hitched in his throat, his arm acting of its own accord as his fist knocked against the wooden door before him. Crap. He'd knocked. Crap crap crap crap.

Mere seconds later, the door swung open, revealing the girl that made his heart thump harder in his chest, almost threatening to break out past his ribs. Over her legs were a pair of dark jeans whilst a simple purple shirt covered her torso. She looked just.. so cute, and her light smile made his mind swim with thoughts.
"Hi, Casper. What's up?"

"Buh.." Oh god, his words were failing him already. He needed to talk properly. He needed to manage those simple few words. "Bu-erm.. um, I.. I was, um.." 

'Oh, spit it out, you idiot.'

"Y-you, maybe.. I.." He breathed out of his nose after his failed words tumbled from his lips, brows coming together before.. he just gave up. Turning on his heel, he began to walk away from her dorm, hands slipping inside his jean pockets, feet ever speeding up the further down the corridor he got. Ignoring any questions that followed him, he simply rushed away, making his way down the main stairs until he was finally out in the fresh air. Sighing, he closed his eyes as his body faced out to the rest of the school grounds, hands going to rest at the back of his neck. He just couldn't do it. He didn't want her to find out he liked her.

He didn't want her to reject him.

I wish to be free, to be you and me.

The sweat-ridden skin of two stuck lightly together as heavy breaths were exchanged, one body lying next to the other, close enough for hips to be touching. The moments before had been so passionate and heated, and these seconds were taken to bask in the feelings of it all, taking in the sensations of pleasure running through both of their muscles. Josh's mind was almost a blur, his thoughts entirely focused on what had just happened, along with the attempts to control his steadily lightening breaths. His eyes drifted from the ceiling to gaze at the woman there beside him, a sort of side-smile spreading over his lips as he couldn't help but lean over once more and press a small kiss to her's before collapsing back down against the mattress.

A smile of her own drifted onto Ari's lips as she began to shift a little beneath the sheets, leaning over so that her cheek rested against his shoulder and her leg hooked over his own, enjoying the gentle sensations against her bare skin as Josh pulled her closer.

"I love it when we get to spend evenings like this.." She kept her words quiet, softly speaking against his neck and let her nose nuzzle against the teen's jawline. The pair had managed to arrange it so that they got to spend the entire evening together, both hoping that the Friday night hours would pass slowly. Josh couldn't help but admit that he enjoyed the time they spent together, too, especially the times when they had more than just an hour or two to themselves. He wasn't sure what it was that had made him grow so attached to Ari but, when they were apart, his mind refused to stop wandering back to her. He could sit there for ages, just thinking about her hair, her smiles, her laugh.. her expression when she attempted to be stern with him in class. They were things that he could just sit and recollect without growing bored, without really wanting to divert away from them.

"Me too." No matter how he felt, though, the male struggled to express all of these feelings that he had bubbling around in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't tell her that he thought about her so much, and he couldn't really tell her that he was growing more attached to her than he had first thought. After all, what they had was, at the start, more of a simple little student-teacher fling. That had been the plan in Josh's mind, at least.. but even after just a few weeks, these plans had changed. However, the teen still couldn't allow himself to grow too comfortable.. just in case.

Before starting the indescribable relationship with Ari, he'd gotten used to having that feeling of rejection stirring about in the back of his mind. It wasn't as if he never managed to charm girls around or anything like that, if anything, it was something he was particularly skilled at. The rejection he experienced was just from one thing, just one time, but it was something that mentally dragged him down more than anything. His ability was something he had grown up with, as with his sickness. But just that one experience of someone freaking out over it in the morning after spending the night with him.. it had stuck with him, and it had been a good few years since he fell asleep in someone else's bed, or allowed someone to witness just how sick he got every single morning after waking up.

And it was something he was dreading to let Ari know about.

Sighing softly, Josh pressed a small kiss to the top of Ari's head before moving himself a little beneath her, causing the woman to lift her head from his chest.

"I should probably get going," he gently said, steadily sitting himself up until his back was straightened up against the headboard, palms rested either side of him. He could tell by her change in expression that she had half been expecting those words to pass his lips, but also that she had been hoping that maybe they wouldn't.

"You know, you don't have to leave so early," the woman said quietly, also now sat up fully as her gaze followed Josh's movements to the other end of the bed, where he began to pick up some of his clothes. "You can always.. stay, if you want." For a few weeks now, she had toyed with the idea that maybe the reason that he always left before they could fall asleep, curled up in each other's arms, was because he wasn't sure if she was okay with it. After all, what they had was risky.. something that he knew she worried about frequently. The consequences of what they had if they were caught were.. well, it'd probably ruin what she had worked so hard for in the past few years. And she guessed that might be part of the reason why he always left.. that, or he just didn't want to fall into that comfortable relationship state with her.

Josh's eyes wandered over to Ari as he pulled up his boxers to his hips, and then began to pull his jeans up over his legs to follow.

"Um.." He hadn't really had to come up with an excuse for leaving before, and his mind struggled to quickly manifest something moderately believable. But then, the small white lie filtered past his lips, "I would, but.. Lend has been, um, struggling with nightmares a bit the past couple of nights. Like, nearly in tears kind of nightmares." A light smile couldn't help but emerge itself across Josh's lips no matter how hard he tried to control it as he spoke and, even though it wasn't true, that boy got scared often enough that it could be.

"I probably shouldn't leave him on his own until he gets over it."

"Oh, okay. Um, don't worry about it. I just thought I should.. let you know." That small smile Ari had sent him just simply made his heart drop in his chest, the obvious uncertainty that glimmered beneath her eyes. He could tell that.. well, maybe she was beginning to think that the only feelings he had for her were feelings of lust, and that was possibly the only reason he persisted in seeing her. Maybe he simply put up with those times when they'd just sit and have a few laughs together because he knew that they would fall into bed at some point or another. Because he always left, he could understand why it could flit through her thoughts.. and he wanted to so badly tell her that that wasn't it at all. Josh truly cared for her, more than he wanted to admit, he'd even bought her a gift to try and show this, but had yet to work up the right courage to give it to her. But, it was because he cared for her that he continued to tear himself away from her each night.

He just couldn't tell her. Not yet.

It was at that moment that an idea formed in Josh's mind, one that quickly brought his lips into a brighter smile than what he'd had before. Placing down his shirt upon the end of the bed, he crawled over to lay back beside Ari, noting the slight change in expression as he settled down.

"I'm sure Lend can wait long enough for you to go to sleep, though." A grin spread to match his own as she leaned up to press a small kiss to his lips before settling down with her back to him beneath the covers, whilst Josh rested beside her, one arm sliding to pull her closer to him. Despite the slight distance the duvet put between them, the comfort was still there, and it didn't take long for slumber to overtake the twenty-one year old.

And that was when he decided to get his present ready.

---

Alarm clocks were possibly one of the worst inventions in the history of anything. That was the thought that drifted through Ariana's mind as her ears picked up on that horrible beeping noise that she had grown so familiar with.Sliding her hand out from beneath the covers, eyes still closed, she attempted to slide the switch on her clock. However, as she felt about where her alarm usually lay, her mind clicked. It was Saturday. Why did she turn her alarm on last night? And it was then that she felt a different sensation beneath her fingertips, a soft velvety casing. Sliding her eyelids open, briefly allowing her eyes to adjust to the sunlight seeping through the curtains, her hazy vision fell upon a long, yet small, blue box on her bedside table. Brows furrowed partially as she stared at it questioningly, not entirely sure what to make of it with her mind still quite dazed from sleep.

Reaching over, she first turned off her alarm which rested just behind, before allowing his fingers to drift to the box, legs sliding out from beneath the covers until she sat entirely upright. Though her gaze was focused upon the case upon her bedside table, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something else.. two post-it notes had been stuck to her lamp, sat one on top of the other. Tilting her head slightly, Ari reached with her left hand, peeling off the first little note which read, "Go on, open it." in a familiar script. There had been a little arrow drawn in the corner, pointing towards the box. With a curious smile, she tilted the lid open, wondering just what it was that was waiting inside. It was another note, with a small smiley face drawn first. This time it read, 'Look down.' And as she did, Ari couldn't help but notice a slight difference about her neck, a difference that she wasn't that unfamiliar to her. Her gaze fell down to see the end of a thin, silver chain with a pendant hanging down to just above her chest. It was a small heart with a clear stone in the centre, quite simple yet elegant in how it looked.

Ariana's smile broadened as she looked at it, eyes only flicking upwards once she recalled the second post-it note on her lamp. Slipping it off with the tips of her fingers, she skimmed her eyes over the words. 'I hope you like it. I saw it and thought of you.'

Just seconds after reading that note, there was a knock at the door and Ari couldn't help but jump slightly, having been immersed in her happy little world.
"One second!" she shouted, sliding herself fully out of bed and grabbing her dressing gown to wrap around herself. It didn't take too long before she was standing behind the door to her home, fingers going to unlatch the lock to see who it was that had come to visit her quite early in the morning. Her heart soared as those brown eyes of her's fell to look upon Josh's deep blue irises, soaking in that wonderfully cheeky grin of his as he leant against the door frame?

"That wasn't too soppy or anything, was it?" he inquired, his grin not faultering, especially as Ari, instead of replying, simply leant upwards and pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, that usual worry of risks and consequences just melting away.

Please open your eyes.

She didn’t know why she’d done it. Again. It was just.. so, so, so stupid. Did she just have no self control? Taylor sighed softly as she lay staring over at the sliver of moonlight slipping through the curtains of the dorm room, shimmering with that rather pleasant life that sometimes made her wish she could just be whooshed away to somewhere else in it. Just fly away in the moonlight and over the hills, across the oceans just to somewhere where she wasn’t herself. Where maybe she had the chance to change how she acted, and where she didn’t have the stupid temptations that knew just how to push her buttons until she couldn’t say no.

The hand at her hip shifted a little as the body beside her moved closer against her bare back, skin sticking against skin, inducing a gentle shudder to rush down her spine. But, it wasn’t that nice feeling shudder that she usually got by being so close to someone. No, it was different, something that almost made her feel sick and like she’d just had a blow to her stomach. And there was a reason that she felt like this, but it was something that she didn’t exactly want to admit to. After all, how could Taylor Harts admit that she was really starting to fall for just one specific boy? The girl hadn’t had a real boyfriend since way before she was in her teens and she’d never really committed herself to a relationship.

But there was one guy that seemed to give her the want to try. He was sweet, adorable, and just.. so cutely oblivious to things and, for some reason, these things just made her so stupidly attracted to him. Thad had just been some silly little project of hers before she had gotten to know him, but then he had just totally stolen her away. Felicity had told her that the eighteen-year-old was a sweetheart and that he’d probably manage to ‘ensnare’ her back.. and he really had. She wasn’t used to caring about what people thought of her, but with Thad she had grown a little more.. careful in how she acted around him. Tay didn’t like the idea of him losing interest in her, and she certainly didn’t like the idea of her doing something that warded him away from her.

But then, there she was, curled up in bed with Brendon, someone who she hardly had any relationship with above one of lust. And it wasn’t the first time that she’d slept with him since being with Thad. The teen sighed softly once more as she drew herself out from underneath the bed sheets, a majority of her body exposed to the contents of the room, which only herself and Brendon occupied for the night. Lend was staying with Cleo, and Josh was off somewhere with his Spanish teacher [a gem of information that Brendon had ‘accidentally’ divulged to her]. So it was just the pair of them, no one there to witness what had occurred and no one to judge.

Well, no one but herself.

Her cheek was rested upon Brendon's chest, one arm slung over his torso whilst the other rested beneath her side. No matter how comfortable she wanted to be, or how much she wanted to enjoy just laying there with him, she couldn't. She could feel such a difference between the feelings she got from being with Brendon and the feelings she got from being with Thad. Brendon may have made her feel sexy, powerful and he knew the things she liked, but with Thad.. he made her feel wanted, cared for and he may not have been the most skilled physically, but he was learning. She was comfortable with him and that safe aspect of their relationship was something she realised that she wanted. She wanted to be able to say that Thad was her one and only, and for him to be able to trust her enough to see she meant it.

Eyes closed briefly before flicking up to look at the features of the male she was lying with, noting how deep in slumber he seemed to be after their little session together. Seeing this, she drew herself out from underneath the sheets, hands searching around for discarded bits of clothing to cover what little dignity she had left were someone to walk in. It didn't take too long to find everything, her and Brendon's interactions being pretty straight to the point from the moment they entered the room to the moment her back hit the mattress, and so it took mere seconds for her to be entirely dressed once more. And it took less time for her to quietly walk out the door, her feet carrying her away from the boys' dorms.

However, her legs paused as she began to walk past Thad's, a sinking feeling overtaking her. He was probably sleeping in there, blissfully unaware of what she'd just done just a few doors down the hall. The guilt that overwhelmed her was indescribable. Taylor was never the sort to feel too guilty about her actions, especially when it came down to having sex.. but now it was almost too much to take. She couldn't just walk on by, whether it was because she wanted to feel like everything was okay, or because she just wanted to hear his voice or feel his arms around her.

Reaching into the pocket of her jacket, the teen fished out her mobile, fingers quickly working to put Thad's number in. It didn't take long until she could hear the sound of a phone ringing behind the door, followed by the sound of something being thrown across the room and then the sound of someone within exclaiming in pain. Tay couldn't help but smile as she realised that he must have concentrated a little too much on the sound of his phone to the point that it went shooting across the room, most likely hitting against his head. She was smiling because it was just.. something that only seemed to happen to Thad. He did these little things; made these silly little faces when he got confused, did that innocent little grin when he was pleased with something, or when he did his sad eyes after realising his brother had only been lying about there being another High School Musical in production. The teen just couldn't stop that small smile as the phone was finally answered, a very sleepy voice filtering through to her ears.

"M'ello?"

"Hey, Thad.." She tried to sound a bit more chirpy, a bit more like she usually did but, instead, her words were soft and quiet, almost wavering near the end of just those two simple words.

"Tay? Hi!" his voice seemed to brighten as he realised just who it was that was calling at this hour in the morning, an obvious smile shining through the speaker of her phone. That was another thing about Thad - he was genuinely sweet and always showed that he cared, be it by actually telling her or just by the tone of his words.

"Um, can you let me in? I'm just outside your dorm."

Before he had even responded, he was travelling across the room, arm reaching out to open the door as one hand still held the phone up to his ear. She'd been right about that smile. No matter how sleepy he seemed, he was still smiling quite brightly at her, a smile that could both make her heart plummet and her mind soar. Hanging up the phone, she slipped it back into her pocket as she took just a few steps towards him, arms going to wrap around his waist, cheek going to his chest. Thad's own arms gradually went to wrap around her, a confusion settling onto his features. He wasn't used to this kind of behaviour from Taylor.. she wasn't exactly the sort to turn up at your doorstep in the middle of the night just for a hug.

Pressing a small kiss to the top of her head, Thad softly asked, "Are you okay?"

Instead of answering instantly, Taylor just pulled herself closer into his embrace, his own arms also wrapping that little bit tighter around her. And, once more, she felt that comfort, that bit of security.

"I'm okay." Her words were soft, her smile small. "I just missed you."

It took so long to say.

Emotions can be expressed in so many different ways.. it would always depend on the person. Some bottled up their feelings, whilst others expressed them to such a strong extent that it left them open to wounds that never seemed to heal as quickly as expected. Some marinated in their thoughts until finally letting go to that one person that held their trust, whilst others felt the need to say their opinions there and then. Some held a combination of these.. debating within themselves just how they need to deal with the problems they’re faced with.

Skye Sanders was never usually the sort to hold back what she felt she needed to say. The girl was encircled with a shyness that anyone could note upon meeting her, but it was something that could be guaranteed that when she opened her mouth, the words that exited would be the truth. If asked, she would answer with that soft voice of hers, blunting the edges of her words with a kindness that not everyone could entirely understand or appreciate. Skye was an honest girl, and one that had been revealed to be far more vulnerable that she had first thought.

Ever since quite recently, the teenager had lost that little spark in her eyes, that light glow about her frame, and the gentle rhythm to her steps. But no matter who asked, she would always say the same things. “I’m okay. Really.” “There’s nothing to worry about.” “Oh no, it doesn’t matter.” “I’ve just got some stuff to do. Maybe later.” Skye had never been that much of a liar, but she had encased herself in a stubbornness about her state, ignoring the fact that she wasn‘t okay, that there were things she had been worrying about, and that these things did matter to her. Instead, she had just tucked herself away, doing her school work and getting on with life in the quiet manner that she had done before.. well, before Damien.

The gentlest of smiles twitched onto the young blonde’s lips as the male crossed her mind, her mind’s eye creating that quirky little smile of his and that strong sapphire gaze that she would have happily admitted a week ago would make her heart flutter. She couldn’t help but think of the male with a fondness, even though her mind and her heart were tearing in two whenever just his name even sounded within her head. He was one of the few things that she looked forward to when waking up in the morning; seeing his familiar face cross her gaze or feeling the gentle touch of his hands upon her waist. It was such a wonderful feeling to have someone that she knew well and truly cared for her, or at least she had believed to have.

It hadn't been until just a few days after he had broken it off with her that her mind had started playing with what he had told her, his reasons behind not wanting to be with her any more. To anyone, they were reasonable.. understandable. But the subconscious was cruel and brought out thoughts that Skye simply could not control. What if there was more to it? What if he'd just been using the fact his blood was poisonous as a way of simply getting away from her? He could have just not wanted to see her any more, but didn't have the heart to break it to her. Skye's heart sunk each and every time that thought crossed her mind, because it was something she simply couldn't bare to think about.

Damien had been one of the few people that she had grown comfortable around in the school, one of the people she didn't have to worry about judging her for who she was. Her trust for him had developed so much since that first meeting with him, and it had blossomed much like her liking for him.. well, it had grown to be more than just a liking. The female refused to admit it to herself now, though.. no, it would just be the cherry on an otherwise destroyed cake.

She lay back against her mattress, underneath the comfort of her duvet cover, wrapped up tight and warm. Safe from the world.. but not as safe as she had felt just being close to Damien. It almost brought a smile to her lips to think that the reason he'd left her was because he could hurt her.. but she'd never felt safer than she had when he was near. He made her feel so comfortable within herself, and made her feel like she could do anything, though all she wanted to do was be wrapped up in his arms or hold his hand whilst they walk around the village. That's all she wanted. That's all she needed to feel complete.

Drawing the duvet around her tightly, she stared up at the ceiling, listening to the quiet noises that fluttered about the school at night. There were always the few people that snuck about, and then there were those that were returning to their dorms after having evening classes. But, right now, all seemed pretty quiet.. even the winter wind outside had silenced itself into a gentle breeze. And Skye was glad it was quiet. It left her alone with her thoughts, the ones that just kept reminding her of how much she missed Damien.. the older teen that had always just made her smile, be it by doing something silly or telling her she looked cute in her work apron.

Oh, how she just wanted to be close to him again.. she'd have given anything to have that chance. She wanted to be able to talk to him, to tell him.. to tell him that she'd fallen in love with him, and simply couldn't let go.

Eyes glazed, thoughts slow.

That soft little gurgling was adorable. Those delicate blue eyes staring up at him from within the milky depths of his wool blanket was a vision that could make anyone’s heart simply melt. A gentle smile rest upon the older male’s lips, his fingertips gingerly tracing across the child’s smooth cheek as he peeled away some of that material to get a better look at his little baby’s face. To be honest, he hadn’t really been able to look properly at his child, as of yet. It had all been a bit of a.. bustle really. So many people had been there when the little guy was born, waiting to get a look at him, to hold him, to make themselves known as a relation to this child. And there was a bloody large number of relations to the little thing.

Louis had never thought he'd get to this moment in his lifetime. Ever since his early teenage years, he'd always been adamant that he would just sail through the rest of his life without getting married, having children, growing old with his loved ones.. He had known what fate was to befall him, and so he simply discarded those normal things from his list of priorities. And so, the fact that he was here, with his own little baby lying back against his thighs as he rested his own feet up against the mattress of Felicity's hospital bed.. well, it was overwhelming.

He couldn't help but allow his smile to extend as he rested his back against his chair and just simply watched the little boy in front of him gurgle every now and again, obviously starting to slip itself into a comfortable slumber. It was surprising what the presence of a baby could cause to stir in some people. Felicity's father had been in earlier, and the male had treated Louis more like a son than ever before (instead of looking at him distastefully and telling him to keep the hell out of his daughter's pants). Luke, Eben, and Paige had also visited. Little Paige's grin did not falter for a moment as she'd gazed at her baby cousin, and Eben had been quite silent whilst he watched his nephew sleep. Luke had mostly focused on the new-mother, making sure she was getting a bit of her own attention for a while after he'd introduced himself to the child (making sure to specify that he was the best uncle out of the lot of 'em).

It seemed that most either had that quiet joy or those bursts of excitement when they'd visited and met the little fella. But.. Louis wasn't entirely certain how he felt. Of course, he was happy. He was pretty certain that he'd never been happier than the moment that he'd first held that small baby in his arms. But.. that didn't stop the nagging feeling at the back of his mind. He was losing his soul.. slowly but surely. No one knew when it was that it would give out, no one was certain how long he had.. but everyone supposed that it would be sooner rather than later.

Throughout Felicity's pregnancy, Louis had kept his feelings about this to himself. Something as joyous as a new life didn't need to be tainted black with the thought of how little time the father would have actually being a father to his son. But now, it seemed, in the silence of the previously bustling room, the thoughts seeped back to the forefront of his mind. Eyes quickly glanced over to Felicity's sleeping form, seeing how peaceful she looked as she got that well deserved rest. Watching her didn't relax Louis as much as he'd hoped, though.. as his vision turned back to his son, a saddened tone just seeping through his body.

He wasn't going to be there for Jimmy as he grew up. He wasn't going to be there to show him things, to help him through any problems he had. He wasn't going to be there to make sure that everything was okay for him. Louis' heart dropped as he wondered just how long it would be until he could no longer be considered as a proper father, until he lost the ability to take care of him. Stroking the back of his finger against his baby's cheek, the twenty-six year old's eyes began to sting, a layer of tears threatening to trickle down his cheeks. Louis never showed a vulnerability as strong as crying. He was certain that it had been before his teenage years when he'd last cried, but now.. he once more felt overwhelmed, but not with the joy he'd felt earlier. It was the complete opposite.

Upon the bed, it seemed that Felicity was stirring, the covers making soft shuffling noises as she turned to face where Louis was sat with Jimmy. Louis quickly used the palm of his hand to wipe away whatever had been threatening to escape him, though his saddened, dazed look couldn't be rubbed away so easily. As Felicity's eyes began to slide open, she saw the less than joyful look upon her lover's face as he stared down at their child.

"Louis.. are you okay?"

Lifting his gaze up to her, the male managed the smallest of side smiles, attempting to hide everything that his mind had conjured up - hiding all of the thoughts that were simply breaking his heart.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance I.

Yates was never the sort to openly show his vulnerability. Well, it was something he avoided, something he didn’t want his peers or his children to ever see. There were very few that actually got that chance, got to see the truly messed up man that he kept behind bars in his mind as he didn’t want to reveal too many of the scars against his skin. His wife was one of those that got to see how vulnerable he could get, and how broken up he was when certain subjects reached his ears.

The male had been working for a small company that helped counsel and console teens that struggled with their home lives and that needed that extra someone there to support them. With personal experience in such matters, Lucas knew what these kids were going through and could see past the attitude and anger that could so very often be thrust into his face. But there were the nights when he’d come home, entirely emotionally drained from the stories he’d been told, from the tears he’d had to wipe away from a tired child’s cheeks. And tonight was one of those days.

Slumped on the sofa, the male lay back against the cushions, a mild comfort to his tired limbs as images flashed across the screen and sounds filtered out of the speakers of the television in front of him. The volume must have been louder than he’d thought, as only a few minutes after the television set was switched on, Frankie was stood in the doorway, a tired look upon her features. Frankie knew her husband, and knew when he needed someone to be there, someone to sit and hold his hand instead of demanding to know why he was just sat there in the dark. Wrapped up in a fluffy, warm dressing gown, she stepped across the carpet towards him, a concerned tint to her eyes as she settled down beside the male.

"Lucas.." Her fingers went to lightly rub against the material of his work shirt, thumb rubbing against his arm, hoping it may show that she was there for him, even though he seemed to ignore her soft motions.

"Babe, what's the matter?" Frankie wasn't the sort to ask the silly question of 'are you okay'. It was obvious that there was something bothering her boyfriend, something that must have gotten to him at work or some news he'd received about someone he had known before he'd come into her life.

Sighing softly through his nose, it didn't take too long for Yates to come up with his response. Voice quiet so as not to wake their slumbering Luke in the room next door, he whispered, attempting to hide the hurt in his tone.

"Um.. well, there was this kid that came into work today.." he started, gaze now focused upon his hands that were rested in his lap rather than upon the television screen as it had been before. "He.. he reminded me so much of how I was before I ran away from my mom. The dad was gone, the mom was drinking, abusive to the kid, he'd ended up in hospital a couple of times because of it.." Pausing, Yates took a deep breath in. His past was something sensitive to him, and it wasn't very often that he'd speak about it. Even though this story wasn't his own, it mimicked it to the letter. He might as well have been telling Frankie all over again about why he'd moved away from his hell hole of a first home, at least until he reached the end of the tale.

"He'd run away a couple of times.. one night, his mom went out looking for him when she was drunk and.." He took another deep breath in, trying his hardest to keep any emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him and instead focus more on the comforting feeling of his girlfriend's fingers against his arm. "Um, she.. stepped out into oncoming traffic. Pretty much died on impact, apparently." Yates swallowed back a lump in his throat, eyes closing tightly and jaw clenching shut. Frankie could see how much he was struggling to even speak about this, and she could see how much it was hurting him to think about it. She knew of what his mother had been like to him, but she also knew that he still loved her despite that, and there were times when he would think about her and debate going to see how she was getting on. But it seemed that, this time.. his worries about his mother were more serious.

"Frankie, what if something's happened to my mom? And I have no idea about it because I left her behind.."

"Lucas." The young woman slid her free hand down to rest on top of her boyfriend's, fingers slipping between his own, clasping against them tightly. "You needed to leave her behind.. she was hurting you and you couldn't do anything to help her." Trailing her other hand up from his arm and to the side of his head, she ran her fingers through his hair, noting how he tilted into her touch.

"I.. I think I want to go and find her. I want to make sure she's okay," the male's eyes avoided directly looking into Frankie's, but his gaze still turned to partly look at her. There was still a sense of worry about his words, but a determination laced between them. He wanted to find out what had happened to her - he needed to find out. No matter how much the thought scared him, he couldn't keep going without at least knowing whether or not she'd got through everything okay. His mind had refused to let him think about anything else for the entire day, and he was certain it would follow him to his dreams.. he needed to find out.

Frankie smiled softly at him, a reassuring gaze as she leant forwards to press a small kiss to his cheek.

"We can go and find her whenever you're ready," she said quietly to him, thumb now stroking gently against his cheek in slow, smooth motions. "We can let her know that she's a grandmother." Yates nodded his head as she said this, finally actually looking into her eyes.

"Yeah.. that'd be nice."

We are broken.

It had been such a long time since he had felt like this. If his mind recalled, it was nearing one and half years, at least, since that beer bottle rim had touched his lips and drowned out the upset that had been swallowing him whole. And there it was again, attempting raise his mood but only dragging it further through the dirt.. into the vast abyss of his mind which he could no longer delve into to seek some form of solace. Because she was always there. Laughing. Smiling. Watching him with those amazing brown eyes that he had wished so hard to be allowed to forget.

Josh’s fingers held so loosely to the translucent, green bottle to the point where it could oh-so easily fall from his grasp, dropping down to the ground or the water below. His feet hung over the wooden edge of the bridge, bare to the world whilst his school shoes sat at his side like some faithful companion. And he had treated them as such, spending the few hours that he had been sat there talking to them as if they were the only things in the world that would listen. He’d joked about it with them, in fact, mentioning how silly it must have appeared to others were they to see a nineteen year old speaking to his shoes. But he didn’t care. Josh was far beyond caring about what other people thought, except that one person which he doubted held any thoughts of him anyway.

Ari.

She had so many other things to be thinking about now, so why would she need to think about that student of hers that rarely even attended her lessons anymore? The woman was getting married, to a man that he hadn’t heard of before, nor did he particularly care to try to know. Good news travelled fast, it seemed, around the halls of Delacroix. When an engagement ring is spotted, it takes an extreme effort to silence the mouth of the person those knowing eyes belong to. But it seemed that no such effort was made, and so the silence never came. Instead it was taken over by chattering, gossiping and quick assumptions that Josh’s ears couldn’t help but overhear.

He thought that the feelings had gone away. He had thought that he wouldn’t get that heart-wrenching feeling whenever he saw her. He had thought that he wouldn’t feel that sinking sensation when he found out the extent she had moved on. Of course she had to have moved on since that February the year before. Ari may have cared for him, but that wasn’t enough for anything to have been formed permanently in her heart. Why should it have been? Everything about what they had had was wrong, against the rules, against the accepted ideas of those around them. So, why should that mean that the norm followed after that? Their passionate moments were ones that they were supposed to forget, to hide beneath a rug and to never be uncovered again. From appearance, she had done just that, trampling over that rug from the moment she agreed for those new, [i]right[/i] feelings to remain forever in her life.

A gentle sigh floated through his nostrils as those strong-blue eyes of his stared down at the quite strong current of the river below, watching it as the water steadily streamed beneath the bridge and out of sight. It usually held such a calming effect of him, but now it just awoke that more of a frustrated feeling in the pit of his stomach and he hated it. What he was frustrated with, he really couldn’t put his finger on. The fact that he had just needed to be one year older and he’d have been able to be with her truly without it needing to be a secret, or maybe it was that she had been able to move on properly to the point where she was getting engaged. He let his fingers hold against the bottle a little tighter as he thought more, his mind delving deeper into the ideas and imaginings that just didn’t want to leave him alone.

How much has she moved on? Really? Had they kissed? Well, of course, they had to have.. They were to be married and it was hard to believe that any man could resist kissing her until they were wed locked. Had they slept together? It was one of those horrible thoughts that Josh could never really get over, one of the ones that he thought he could get rid of but always came floating back into his mind at various points during the day. Each time it seemed so much more of an infuriating image, something that made the male's teeth clench each time he thought about it too deeply. But he couldn't be angry, not really. He'd had sex with other women since the end of their 'relationship', he'd even had a friend that had a more beneficial status.. he still did. But, it was always there, nagging him that he would so much rather that the girl he was with was someone else entirely. And no matter how much he thought about it, the girl was always the same when he opened his eyes again, vision hazy from the usual alcohol in his system.

The male’s fingers stroked softly over the neck of the bottle he was holding so loosely over the side of the small bridge, his body almost contemplating letting it just fall down into the slow flowing water. Maybe if he just let that go, he could let her go. She wanted to fall away from him, so why should he stop her? Not that he probably could stop her.. as said, she had moved on, didn’t want to be an aspect in his life anymore. It wasn’t as if he had asked her, but it was just something that had settled into his mind, something he had been drawn to realise somehow. Maybe it was because he had tried to pull away from her first.. he rarely turned up for her classes anymore, and when he did he barely took notice. She’d tried to ask him to stay behind once or twice, but had always escaped through the mass of pupils before she could even stop him. Josh was always the first out of her classroom - some kind of childish way of dealing with his mind’s problems. It was all because he couldn’t handle seeing her, let alone being on his own with her. Ari had represented something to him that he hadn’t properly felt before and hadn’t allowed himself to feel. That was the reason that he couldn’t stand the thought of her being with someone else and feeling that for him, and that was why he had to try and let her go.

Josh’s mind slowly churned these thoughts behind his vacant eyes, staring out at the water and realising that there was really nothing he could do. It was done. She was getting married and he was just some student that she had fun with to pass the time. That’s what he had to believe, to soak up so he could return to being that guy that went out with Brendon and had a laugh, always having to sneak out of someone else’s room to get back to his own. He needed to be like that again, to be the Josh that didn’t know about the engagement, the Josh that hadn’t had feelings for his Spanish teacher.

As he contemplated this idea, his ears vaguely picked up the gentle sound of shoes against the wooden planks of the bridge, a light rhythmic sound that slowed the nearer it got. The male didn’t look up to see who it was, he didn’t really care. But he knew who it was when they started to settle down next to him, sitting close with her leg touching against his. Felicity, one of the few girls that was really that close to him, one of his best friends. She was probably the one that gave him the most comfort, even if she didn’t realise it, because she understood how he was feeling from first hand experience. The pair of them were frequently there for each other, on the days that they felt that they couldn’t get by and the lonely nights when they just needed someone to be there with them. It was their relationship, their little thing that just helped them get by.

Words weren't really needed as the older teen rested his head down against her shoulder, her cheek leaning into his hair. She understood how he felt - that horrible sinking feeling at the knowledge that the one you love is with someone else other than you, and that desire to just be able to let go.. but it was impossible for the both of them. But they would struggle on, taking each painful step one at a time. She glanced over to the empty bottles that sat to the other side of Josh, and then the one that he held so loosely in his hand.

"It'll be okay, Josh.." her words were quiet and soft, reassuring. She wanted him to know that everything would work out in the end, even if she wasn't entirely certain for herself. "Things'll work out, I'm su-"

"But, they won't, will they?" came his even quieter, weaker response. He hated how particularly pathetic he sounded but, at that moment, he couldn't care less about that. He knew that he didn't sound at all manly, and that how he reacted to the new of Ari's engagement was borderline childish, but.. he just didn't care and wouldn't care until the moments had passed.

Josh paused for a moment, swallowing some of the upset as he continued to speak.

"She's getting married to some.. guy that's probably a million times better than me, and she's probably pretty much forgotten about me and any feelings she might have had. There's.. there is no chance that she gives a shit about how I feel about her any more."

"You never kn-"

"No, I do. I do," his voice grew louder this time, sounding almost stronger as he lifted his head up away from her, standing up from where he had been seated quite comfortably with his beer still held between his fingers. "I should've expected that something like this was going happen sooner or later, and I shouldn't still be so hooked on her. I was just some risky fling and that's it." His fingers tightened against the neck of the bottle he held, knuckles turning white as a desperate smile spread onto his lips, a sighed chuckle escaping him.

"I just can't get her out of my head.. I can't," as he finished those words, his arm raised and flung the bottle as far down the river as he could. Hearing the splash as it hit the water, he sunk back down to the ground, fingers rubbing against his temple. "She just.."

Felicity shuffled herself to sit next to him, one arm going to wrap around his shoulders, trying hard to comfort her obviously hurting friend, a sympathetic look planted across her features. Josh closed his eyes and let her pull him slightly closer, taking the smallest bit of comfort before allowing his eyelids to once more open, revealing those brilliant blue, cursed irises of his. But the sight that hit him seemed to have more impact than it would most, as he watched the green, near-empty bottle of beer float back down to the bridge, bobbing up and down as it drew closer and closer.

"She keeps coming back.."

I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs.

"Eben, stop worrying about it."

"I can't help it. What if they hate the idea? What if your dad starts throwing stuff at us?"

"Can you really see my dad getting off his ass to throw things? It's Mom you should be worrying about."

"That's not funny."

The older male chuckled as he gave a gentle squeeze to his partner's arm whilst they both walked down the drive to his parents' home, hoping to maybe reassure him that what they were about to do was okay.

"Trust me, Ebs. They'll be cool with it." Luke was always the more laid back of the pair and had been since they first started dating. Heck, even before that when the pair had just been living together for the Summer. You could always guarantee that if there was one person in that household worrying over something, it would be Eben. Luke couldn't help but find it endearing, though, seeing just how much his lover worried over something as simple as telling his parents that they were dating.

The night before had not exactly been an easy one, and so it was understandable just why Eben was nervous to speak to the Yates'. After all, having your parents meet the person you're currently in a relationship with is nerve-wracking as it is, let alone coming out of the closet at the same time.. and revealing that the man you love is, in fact, the son of your father's best friend. It had been a difficult evening and Luke could entirely understand, but he knew that there was no reason for Ebs to get upset by the prospect of having to also tell Yates and Frankie. But no matter how many reassurances he threw his way, the younger male maintained that worried look behind his pale blue eyes, the uncertainty just so thickly flowing out of him.

As the pair approached the front door, voices could be heard within, voices that were highly familiar to the twenty-six year old. He couldn't help but grin as he briefly listened in, halting his fist near the wooden rectangle before him, not yet knocking.

"Frankie?! Can I have a cake?!" It was obvious that they were in separate rooms as they shouted to each other, voices quite easily heard from just behind the thin door.

"Lucas, do I have to tell you again?! Dinner is going to be ready soon, and we'll be eating as soon as Luke and Eben get here! So, no, you cannot have cake!"

There was a brief pause, before a quieter response came, "Even a small bit?"

Chuckling, Luke finally rapped his hand against the plain door before him, muffling over the most likely response of 'No!' from his mother. Green eyes glanced to the side of him where Eben stood quite nervously, eyebrows together as his features just beamed that uncertain mood at anyone who looked at the poor lad.

"Hey," the older male said softly, gently nudging his elbow against the other's side. "Come on, smile. They'll think someone's died if you walk in with that look." Forcing a smile just in time, the door swung open to reveal a man in his mid-forties, wearing a very old Metallica t-shirt, some baggy jeans, and a thin, navy dressing gown over the top. This was, what Luke was very proud to call, his father.

"Heeeey!" exclaimed an obviously pleased Yates as his eyes fell upon his son and the son of his best friend. "You're finally here. I was getting fucking hungry, and Frankie wouldn't let me touch the food until you both arrived." Grinning, Yates moved to one side, hand ushering the pair into the house, muttering a general 'come on, get in' as he did so.

It had been a while since Luke had set foot in this house, almost a year it seemed. It was crazy to think that it was only last year that he'd officially moved out to go and live in France with his sister and the vast majority of the Smith siblings. It hadn't been too difficult a decision to make, surprisingly, and he most certainly didn't regret having done it. He was pretty certain his parents appreciated having the house to themselves again, too, rather than worrying about the children running amok about the place. Now, Frankie only had to worry about Yates running amok instead. Luke had to admit, though.. it was nice to be home. There was that familiar feel to the place, the walls that he had grown up within, the familiar smells of his mother cooking him dinner.. his senses were so overwhelmed that he almost forgot just why they were there, at least until his gaze fell back to Eben, seeing the young man stand quite awkwardly in the centre of the room after trailing in from outside of the door frame. The softest of reassuring smiles was sent his way, something that was missed by Yates as he led them from the hallway and into the living room.

"So, is that wanker Louis still trying to get into Felicity's pants? No offence to your brother, Eben, but he's a twat," the elder of the three males said, heading over to one of the walls which had what appeared to be a walking stick leant up against it.

"I think he's already been in her pants for a while now, Dad."

"Hmph, bastard." The response was quick after what seemed a short time to deliberate just what to call the youngest of the Smith clan, Yates' hand reaching to grab a hold of the stick before him.

"Dad.. why do you have a walking stick? You were walking just fine a few minutes ago.."

"Your mom won't let me get a motorised scooter when I'm older because she thinks I'll run people over with it.." There came the sound of a soft chuckle from the end of the room where Eben was stood, as if it were obvious that the young male would have had the exact same reaction were he to have had to make the same decision. Yates chose to continue with his little explanation, despite the fact he could see the grin extending on his son's lips. "So I'm trying to show her I can be responsible with old people equipment like this walking stick."

"So far, he's hit the mail man, three kids that came 'round to ask for their bouncy ball back, and a cat that managed to sneak in whilst I was at work." It was at that moment that Francesca walked in, a tea towel in hand so she could dry the water off from her fingers, a welcoming grin on her lips. "Hey, baby boy." Luke's grin grew to match his mother's as he briskly walked towards her, arms wrapping snugly around her in a loving embrace, squeezing her gently before parting away from her.

"Hey, Mom," his voice was soft as he let her go, gaze flicking back around to Eben after realising that the male was still stood there silently, the only sound escaping him being the gentle sound of his shoes shuffling nervously against the carpet. It seemed that he had caught Frankie's attention, too, as her eyes went to the twenty year old, smile still warm.

"Hi, Eben, you okay?" she asked gently, picking up on that almost nervous vibe from him, though simply assuming that it may have been because it had been a while since they'd last seen him. It wasn't very often that they got to see much of the younger generation now that they were all living in France, and it had been quite difficult to begin with, especially with both of their children being so far away. But now, it wasn't as bad, and they had grown to treasure the moments that they did share with each other.

"Oh, um, yeah," was Eben's quite quick response, a weak smile forming upon his lips, one that wasn't all to convincing to at least two of the other people in the room (obviously, Yates being the one excluded, seeing as his mind was otherwise distracted with whatever was on the television screen).

"He's just a bit off from the car ride over here, Mom. He's still not used to how quickly I drive," Luke chimed in, attempting to take the spotlight away from the nervous Ebs.

"Ohh. Don't worry, Eben. His mom taught him well," she grinned, reflecting upon the fact that she was the one to teach Luke how to drive. It had been decided that Yates wasn't to, seeing as he wasn't exactly the best driver out there.. well, he was okay, as long as quick reactions weren't needed all too often in his journey. Eben nodded his head lightly, his smile briefly extending to try and show that he was in some way reassured of Luke's driving, even though his qualms weren't at all related to the older male's skills on the road.

"Right, anyway, food is out in the kitchen. Come on, before it gets cold."

---

It didn't take too long for the four to get settled at the table and start eating the meal that had been prepared for them. Luke had missed his mom's cooking, and he had to admit that he was quite glad that it had been her making the effort instead of his father (he could still remember that year when his mother was away, and the food memories weren't particularly pleasant). Though trying his hardest, Eben was struggling with his meal as the subject that they were sure to bring up soon was just whirling around in his mind. He truly loved Luke, and knew that the feeling was reciprocal, but the poor lad still struggled to admit to others just to what degree that love went to.

Being in denial for so long about his sexuality, whilst also having the pressure of his father's opinions of him, didn't help matters at all. He was pretty certain that Frankie and Yates didn't have any idea about Luke's and his own Summer fling back in France, and he knew that his parents had not yet spoken to the pair about it. After all, the Yates' were a quite forward family, and he knew that it would have been mentioned by now were they aware. Oh, he was so nervous about what they would say.. what they would think of it. He didn't even know how on earth they were going to bring the topic up, or how they were going to break the news to them..

"Oh, by the way, me and Eben are dating each other now."

Cough. Splutter.

Eben turned his wide-eyed gaze over to Luke after recovering somewhat from nearly choking on the mouthful of food he'd just eaten, shocked at how suddenly the male had spoken out about it. He hadn't broken them in gently, nor given them any preparation for the news. He'd just.. outright said it. Why on earth..?

"Yes!" Eyes turned to look at the end of the table where Yates was sat, his arms raised slightly, knife and fork still in hand. "One of Jason's kids is gay with my son!"

"Oh, Lucas.." Frankie frowned at her husband, rolling her eyes at the apparent pride that Yates was now beaming with.

"What? It means J owes me ten dollars.. be happy, I'm bringing more money in." Shaking her head, Frankie gradually stood up from her chair, placing down her knife and fork before quickly shuffling over to stand between where Luke and Eben sat.

"Aw, I'm so happy for you two." She smiled as she leant down to press a small kiss to both of their cheeks, taking little notice of the shocked expression upon Eben's features. "You know I still expect grandkids somehow, though, right?"

"That's still a little way down the road, Mom."

"Okay, okay," she responded with a grin, wrapping one arm around each of their shoulders, drawing them in for a hug.

"You know how we should celebrate?"

"Lucas, if you say by having cake, you'll be wearing one as a hat."

".. but I want cake."