I can't tell you something that ain't real.

ooc; I will most likely re-write this at some point or another.

de·nial (dē nī′əl, di-) - a refusal to believe or accept.

Her eyes were wide and vacant as she stared out to the view across the school grounds, the usual sparkle hidden now deep behind her pale irises. Smudged make-up lingered across her pallid skin, a mixture of mascara and eyeliner clinging to her dampened eyelashes. Soft puffs of grey smoke flowed steadily from her deep crimson lips whilst she stood, the taste lingering on her tongue with the salted tears that had only just seemed to cease. The girl's mind was whirring, though her thoughts tried to remain empty. She couldn't escape the realisation that was now haunting her, steadily taking over her entire state and leaving her unable to distract herself with anything else.

The clothes Taylor wore were not what you could class as her usual provocative attire - far from it. Upon her slender legs was a pair of plain, dark leggings, whilst her torso was covered by a grey, baggy t-shirt that hung down to cover her thighs. Over her shoulders was one of Thad's hooded jackets that she had stolen from him just a couple of weeks into their relationship, the material bringing her some form of warmth and the slightest bit of comfort as it reminded her still quite strongly of the male. But that didn't help her, even as she tried so hard to think fondly back to when the pair of them had just started out.

Fresh tears slid down her cheeks, collecting at her jaw before dripping down to the ground below. Her heart pounded as she stared at her shaking hand, fingers clinging to the steadily vanishing cigarette before her. Tay couldn't just linger on the past, not now. She needed to realize what was being ushered onto her in the present.. and recognize what this meant for her future. She had been in denial for weeks now, nearing months. Her friends had tried to tell her, Thad had even approached her about it. But she was still in such disbelief that she just ran, not wanting to confront what was now staring her right in the face.

Slowly, Taylor let the stick of nicotine fall from her fingertips, the toe of her trainers pressing against the tip of it to extinguish the smallest of embers lingering at its end. Her eyelids slipped closed, the softest of sighs creeping past those plush lips of her's. She gradually let one of her hands slide to the base of her spine, fingers dragging against the soft material until it was held taut against her torso. The girl's breath caught in her throat whilst her other hand ran steadily over her gradually swelling stomach, a fresh bout of tears pouring down her cheeks.

She was pregnant. And she couldn't carry on denying it.

Her fingers loosened and her legs started to give way, her back sliding down against the wall just behind where she stood. The tears continued to fall, nothing within her really wanting to make them stop. There were just so many things now rushing through Taylor's mind, everything just screaming to be given priority in her conflicted form. She could always get rid of it. The word 'abortion' repeatedly rolled forward, but then would she ever forgive herself for it? There was someone growing inside of her. A little person. A boy or a girl. Someone who could grow up to be whatever they wanted, someone who could end up meaning the world to her.

---

It didn't take too long for Thad to find her, worry etched on his sweet features. He hadn't meant to upset her, and he hadn't meant for her to run away in tears from his words. But he had to confront her, he'd needed to. After several of his friends and family had asked about it, Thad couldn't just stand by with the knowledge that she might have been carrying his child and simply been in denial about it. No. He needed to know.

Sympathetic eyes fell upon the girl, now, curled up with her back rested against the school building. It took him mere seconds to walk towards her, settling himself down beside her small form. Thad wanted to make her feel better, he wanted to tell her that everything was okay, but he just didn't know. Taylor wasn't the only one confused, almost dazed by the news. Without saying so much as a word, he slowly slid one arm to wrap around her, drawing her against him. It was the best he felt he could do, and it calmed him when he felt the female turn into his touch, bringing herself closer so her head rested against his shoulder. Nothing was uttered between the pair, even as one of Taylor's own arms went to wrap around his torso. They just sat there in silence, soaking in the situation they had fallen into, hoping and praying that everything would just fall into place.

I'll hold onto this feeling, and I won't let go.

Jasper's head tilted to one side, a curiosity overcoming his features. Though his brow furrowed, there was no sense of anger or shock. It was an innocent, child-like wonderment as his legs brought him further into his apartment, gaze settled upon the sleeping figure rested upon his sofa at the other end of the room. The male recognised who it was immediately, but he still couldn't understand why she would be there. Pale irises swept over the calm body upon the dark cushions, her light skin quite an admirable contrast against the deep brown materials surrounding her.

Compelled by nothing but a slight amusement, a gentle smile tilted onto his lips, eyes very briefly seeming to light up as his arm reached to close the door behind him, their usual intensity just melting away. Pulling the coat from his shoulders, Jasper gradually stepped further into his home, drawing closer towards the sofa. As he neared, he noticed something different. Upon her cheeks rested a cool layer of moisture, damp patches now visible across her skin as the light streaming through the curtains shone across her features. Tears had collected across her eyelashes, thickening the short hairs to the point where they appeared far bolder than he was typically used to seeing.

Placing his coat down onto the coffee table, the male settled himself down upon the edge of the couch, his body close to where Lucy was rested. Eyebrows came together as a wave of sympathy seemed to wash over him, something he wasn't entirely used to feeling. The girl before him had suffered things that no typical teenager could ever understand, with her ability and the relationships she had fallen victim to, and that sympathetic pang couldn't help but slip forward in his mind when he saw the evidence of her weaknesses. She was a strong girl, and that was what had drawn him to her in the first place. Jasper thrived on getting under peoples' skin, and it had been like that with Lucy to start with, but confusion quickly took over him when he started to want her to do more than just solely depend on him. He didn't understand it, but he began to trust her, and see her as a little more than a puppet he could control.

His fingers gingerly went to stroke against her cheek, ignoring the damp and simply carressing against the skin. He wanted to comfort her, make her feel better. She deserved it and, as much as he tried to bury it away, he wanted to be the one to make her feel right again. Jasper had taken advantage of her vulnerable state more times than he could count, whether it had been physically or emotionally. He'd taken from her without really giving much back, simply covering over the cracks by filling her with the slight belief that everything was okay. He had taken away her pain, and he supposed that was something. But his growing weakness for her didn't want to just cover it up, didn't want to just make her believe that all was right with the world. He wanted it to be true - at least to some degree.

The solemn look upon his features was not a familiar one, the sympathetic tone that riddled every muscle in his body. From how his gaze watched over her sleeping state, to how his fingers lightly touched against her skin and slowly through her hair.. these were signs of the different side that Lucy brought out of him. It was a side he didn't understand, a side that he didn't particularly care for. It scared him how vulnerable it was. His feelings for her were his weakness, and he could never let anyone see that. His hand slid to rest on her shoulder, thumb gently running against the material of her shirt as he started to partially stand, leaning over her. She looked so peaceful, the only thing hinting to her upset being the skin around her eyes, the tears staining her flesh. Pressing a small kiss against her forehead, Jasper leant over and grabbed the blanket that rested between the wall and the top of the sofa, unfolding it and splaying it out over her calm, resting figure.

With that, he settled down on the floor beside the sofa, his back to the girl that had caused so much confusion within his thoughts. He wanted to be there when she woke up. He wanted to take care of her. Tilting his head back upon the plush cushions behind him, his gaze settled on Lucy again, his features only expressing the concern he had for her. He didn't understand the feelings she stirred within him, he just knew he didn't want those feelings to end. He didn't want to let it go.

No matter how many deaths that I die, I will never forget.

Cleo had always had a certain innocence about him. It wasn't that he didn't understand, or didn't see the more mature meanings of other peoples' words, it was more that he had a child-like reaction to them. There'd be a light flush of red upon his cheeks if anyone questioned him about his bed habits, or anyone decided to dish out the dirt about their own. Gore freaked him out and violence wasn't exactly a favourite pass-time of his. Though others may laugh about it, he'd always feel safer if there was at least one light in the room turned on. It was how he was. Even with his more rebellious days, this side of Cleo had always been there, lurking beneath the surface.

It was probably what made his ability's development all the more unfair.


The male's eyes clenched together as he stumbled through the hallway, fingers attempting to grasp at something, anything, that could guide him back to his dorm. The cool plaster felt nice against his skin, but it brought no comfort to his nerves, nor did it give him any indication that he was closer to his destination. His breathing was ragged, his chest rising and falling at an unsteady rate whilst his eyelids remained tightly closed, protecting his green irises from whatever it was that he didn't want to see. But it was still there, in his head.. an image that he debated was maybe formed by some cruel part of his imagination, or the result of a twisted person's mind games.

Cleo had never been faced with the long-term effects of death. His ability was one that allowed him to defy that aspect of life, at least a certain number of times. He'd frequently joked that he would always be one up on a cat because he got ten lives instead of nine. It was probably with slight irony that his latest near-death experience probably could have been avoided had he always been able to land on his feet. But today.. today had decided to dredge something up and drown his usual happy self whilst draining every inch of warmth from his cells.

It was out of the corner of his eye that he first noticed it. Something off - not quite right as a girl a couple of years below him had skipped on passed him down the corridor. He'd thought nothing of it to begin with, his thoughts instantly settling on the conclusion that he really needed to sleep more. But the further he walked, the more he noticed, the more the slight hints his peripheral vision was giving him began to creep further into his view.

There was a young man walking probably eight or nine steps ahead of him, his clothing consisting of the typical school uniform, the usual blazer absent and the shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Cleo wasn't entirely sure what brought his attention to it first, but as his gaze skimmed over the male's back, he noticed his arm.. The skin was grey and peeling, a certain absence of flesh in various areas to reveal the dirty white of bone. Around the rotting wounds settled dried patches of blood, some appearing smeared whilst others more spattered. The simple sight made Cleo's eyes widen, his feet stopping in their tracks as he couldn't help but stare, unable to believe just what it was he was seeing.

And that was when someone else walked down the corridor towards him, their features mimicking the appearance of the other student's arm. Cheeks were worn, the girl's hair appearing as lifeless as her eyes. Those eyes.. the hollow grey that stared absently ahead, ignoring the young male staring after her, fear obviously striking his heart.

Blinking frantically, Cleo rubbed his palms against his eyelids, head shaking slightly as if it was all just some weird trick of the light. As he allowed his eyes to open, the vision before him shocked him to the very core, confusion rushing as strongly through his veins as his heart was currently beating. The palms of his hands were decayed, skin peeling though not enough to shed, his fingers thin to the point there seemed almost nothing to them. His arms were of a similar shade to the others', though they appeared more aged and worn, lacking the red-tinted stain across the flesh.

His heart was racing. He didn't know what was happening to him. Cleo tore his gaze away from his own form, abruptly turning around, hoping to maybe see someone chuckling in the corner, amused by their own little trick. Or hoping to see someone normal, someone familiar that looked like they did every single day. Without really thinking about it, his feet began to carry him down the hallway, pupils frantically flicking about the walls surrounding him, confusion and fear being the only two emotions to really register behind those eyes of his. Voices could be heard at the end of the corridor, as could the bustling of students as they set about their usual business. The closer he got to the noises, the more he came to dread the sight that could lay ahead of him. He couldn't take it, his fear warning him to turn back, to run away from the sights that could lay ahead.

That was the moment that he felt something touch against his shoulder, a hand reaching out, grasping a light hold of his upper arm. With a start, the teen jumped, his heart skipping a beat whilst his body wildly flung itself to turn and face whoever it was that had grabbed him.

"Hey, dude, you okay?"

Cleo's blood ran cold, eyes widening even further in horror, stinging with fearful tears. The boy in front of him didn't look like your average male. Blisters marked his skin from top to toe, his flesh peeling much to the extent of the others'. His eyes, though his features would suggest showed concern, appeared hollow, cold. Dead. Thinning tufts of dark hair lingered upon his scalp, clinging to the decaying epidermis, determined to remain in place.

Within seconds, Cleo was running. He didn't care where he went, as long as he could get away. He didn't know what was happening to him, why his vision had suddenly turned against him, forcing him to be haunted by images of what he had just seen. That was why he ended up in the corridor to the boys' dorms, eyelids clenched shut to the point it could have probably been painful. Tears were readily streaming down his cheeks now, his breaths ragged and mouth hanging open, gulping in the air as quickly as it was escaping him. He'd never been so scared, so uncertain.

As difficult as it was, the male counted along each door that he passed, attempting to find his own without having to expose his irises to anything other than behind his eyelids. Fingers felt about for a number upon each door, relief only hitting him when he finally found the one he was looking for, his forehead touching against the wooden frame. It didn't take long for him to unlock the door, his legs rushing to carry him in, hands shoving the door in an attempt to close it as he stepped further into the room. His shoulders shook, fingers raising to brush through his hair, remaining at the back of his cranium for a moment before dropping down to his sides. He couldn't understand what was happening to him, why it was happening to him. Sinking to his knees, he knelt upon the ground, curling forwards until his forehead touched the carpet. Even then, he didn't open his eyes. Even then, all on his own, he dared not to.

-to be continued-

Your hands were shaking.

Julian could usually handle stress. He was resistant to things that would drag the typical person down. His optimism would always shine through at the right moment, bringing his mood right back up from whatever it was that taunted his mind with feelings of doubt or unhappiness. He was resilient, and he'd always just say that it was one of those personality traits that he picked up from his family. His parents had had their hard times, and their strength had just passed on to him. Julian knew that was a blessing, and he knew that many things that he had in life were so much better than what others around him had to suffer, and it was why the male refused to complain about the things littering his thoughts. He kept those negative emotions tucked away, allowing them to gather dust until not a soul in his home could hear his muttered words of distress, or his occasional pleads for things to get better. For the pain to ease.

It had only been in the past few weeks that these emotions had been allowed to venture out beyond his personal reflections, that the tone that laced his words started to contain a sharpened edge. Julian was never one for harsh exchanges, and he avoided confrontations at all costs, especially with those closest to him but, now.. he couldn't stop that deep-seated anger and upset bubbling within him, steadily boiling over and streaming readily towards anyone who uttered just a single word of complaint. His reasons for this were obvious, especially today of all days.

The thirty-two year old stood outside, back rested against the wooden front of the church, eyes vacant as he stared down to the cobbled ground that he had walked over just an hour previous. The walk had been brief, but it felt like a lifetime. It was a walk that he never should have had to make, not with that weight upon his shoulders. Tears welled up in his eyes from just thinking about it, thinking how those moments were going to be with him forever, where his little girl should have been in place. He was supposed to have a lifetime of memories, things to reminisce about, but now he was stuck with that short journey between the undertakers' car and those church doors, nothing else able to bring any form of light to his darkened outlook.

A cloud of smoke drifted from parted lips as he stood in silence, arms folded across his chest. A dark suit adorned his relaxed frame, a black tie wrapped loosely around his neck, allowing for just one button to be undone. His shoes were buffed and polished, and his general appearance was smart, but he lacked that approachable air about him. His pale blue eyes were cold and empty, whilst his other features simply offered nothing, a blank stare setting in. The male could hear voices inside of the church, but they only appeared as monotonous as his thoughts, nothing comforting in the fact that he was not entirely alone.

Taking another drag from his cigarette, Julian attempted to suck in that contentment it could usually provide, only finding it to be lost the second that grey smoke exited his lungs. It seemed that his absence was noticed, however, as another male exited through the large wooden doors, a searching expression taking a hold of his features, quickly followed by an almost sense of relief as his brown gaze settled upon his cousin.

Julian hadn't entirely expected for Alex to show up. Not because he didn't care, but because he wasn't exactly the best at handling such situations. Like Julian, in a way, he ran away from the sensitive subjects, attempted to live his life with a firm grasp upon his ideals, many of which actually differed from his younger cousin. Although Julian didn't look up to the male, he could tell how awkward he was beginning to feel, how uncertain of his words he had become in the space of just a few hours. Everything about that day had just struck down any form of cheery conversation that could be shared between the pair, words that could usually so easily be exchanged just.. vanished. There was no real smiles, no laughing, no joy behind their eyes. Just a sense of awkwardness that engulfed them entirely, obvious from Alex's struggle to form any form of constructive sentence.

"Um.. so, it's kind of cold today, isn't it?" That was the best he could do. Were Julian on the outside-looking-in, he'd have surely managed to crack a smile, just because he knew that his cousin had been trying to prevail over the situation by bringing up a non-challenging subject. It was something that anyone could talk about, something that might not lead back to the unhappy events that led up to that moment. But he wasn't on the outside-looking-in.. he was right there, and he barely took notice of the words entering his ears, absently responding, his expression remaining the same.

"I hadn't really noticed." It was an honest answer, but one that hardly could stem a deeper conversation. Taking in another breath of smoke, the sympathetic glances he received weren't entirely ignored, but then also weren't registered. Julian felt numb to such things after weeks of suffering beneath them. Apologies didn't make things better, they just served as a reminder of what had happened. 'I'm so sorry for your loss' didn't bring her back. Nor did it ease the pain he felt in his chest whenever so much as her name was mentioned. Looks of sympathy did nothing, either, and he grew to resent such things - things he had been forced to endure for the entire day.

"Oh. Well, it feels cold. Not weirdly cold, just.. cold." Alex truly was struggling with his words, uncertain of what was okay to say and what wasn't. He wasn't always particularly careful about how he spoke, but then.. he cared about Julian and didn't want to upset him any more than he already seemed. The man stood in front of him was not his cousin, more like an empty shell, a pressure weighing down on his heart, steadily cracking his exterior. It was a sad sight, and Alex wasn't sure what he could do. Almost automatically, his hand reached out and touched against Julian's arm, fingers clasping gently. He may not have had the words, but he wanted the man to know that he was there for him. It was the best he could give.

"Look, Julian, I-" At that moment, footsteps could be heard approaching where the two men were stood, the echoing sound of heels filtering out of the church doors, steadily drawing closer and closer. Until, finally, a young woman emerged. She looked not a day older than twenty-one, though her true age lingered in the early thirties. Her beautiful blonde locks were tied back into a tight pony-tail, a neat side-fringe sweeping across over her forehead. Despite her youthful looks, there was an obvious maturity about her, especially behind those blue eyes.. those blood-shot, blue eyes.

"Julian, do you really have to smoke right now?" Her voice was sharp, a neat contrast against her softened features. Elizabeth was a sweet woman, but she had grown up with a judgemental side, a way about her that could make some feel as if they'd just been dragged through some form of disapproving mud. "You're pretty much standing inside the church. Can't you control yourself until we get home?" Her voice was more whispered now, eyebrows coming together, a stern twist over-coming her features.

Sucking in another drag of that nicotine-soaked air, Julian maintained eye contact with the floor, his response escaping as freely from his lips as the smoke expelled from his lungs.

"I don't hear God complaining." He'd never really been one for religion, and it was at times like these that he understood exactly why. If there was some kind of higher power, someone who was supposed to look after them, then why did things like this happen? Why was his innocent, little, baby daughter no longer with them? Hadn't she deserved a full-life like the rest of them? Finally, Julian tore his gaze up from the cobbled ground, passing over Alex and then directly to his wife.

"Julian!" It was a hushed exclamation, though the anger behind it was obvious. After a few moments, however, she tried to compose herself, taking in a deep breath before speaking once more. "Please put that cigarette out. I don't want my family finding out that you smoke." It was true that the male had always had to hide the fact that he had his little nicotine addiction, sneaking away after meals with them just so he could have those few minutes to himself. Ever since he and Elizabeth had met, she'd disliked that part of him, disliked the fact that he had a more tainted past than her own. But she loved him despite that, choosing to ignore his flaws as much as she could, though she struggled not to remind him of them.

It was almost as if Alex wasn't there now, Julian's entire focus having shifted to his wife, his brow furrowing at her words.

"We're at our daughter's funeral.. and you're worried about your parents finding out that I smoke?" It wasn't exactly a question, more something he had to get straight in his head. He had grown used to the occasional lecture. It had just been part of their married life - they had always been happy otherwise. Julian would just nod and smile, ignoring the idea of confrontation, deciding it's for the best she just lets her frustrations out on him instead of suffering otherwise. But he just couldn't let it slide.. not today. That anger that kept seeping out of him just continued, now directed at the woman standing directly in his line of fire.

"Elizabeth, listen to me, because I'm not saying this again. I couldn't care less what your parents think of me right now," his words were calm, steady, but the hand holding his cigarette was starting to shake. Only slightly, but it was still noticeable. "I'm out here trying my hardest to deal with what's happened, and you've chosen now to lecture me about life choices I made when I was a teenager."

Alex almost felt compelled to pipe in a, "For which I'm responsible for," with a cheeky grin, but he resisted, realising that now was definitely not the time to try and get a pleasant reaction out of the pair. Instead, he just remained silent, staring wide-eyed at the two of them, not entirely sure what to expect. Taking a final breath from his cigarette, Julian turned slightly, hand moving to press the stub against the wall of the church that he was leant upon, allowing it to then drop to the ground.

"Is that better now?" Julian's eyes remained as cold as they had before, the usual warmth and cosiness seeming to have seeped away somewhere along the line. Taking one final glance at his wife, Julian slide between her and Alex, aiming to walk away from the church, aiming to walk anywhere away from that moment.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Thanks for coming," were his parting words before he simply ventured off, ignoring whatever it was that was shouted after him. He just needed to be alone. He needed to deal with some of this on his own. He couldn't let himself break down. But as he walked away, he could feel his hands shaking further, that familiar stinging sensation filtering through to his eyes. The same two words just kept repeating over and over in his head, strengthening each time around, but weakening his defences with each and every hit.

She's gone.

And there was nothing he could do to get his baby girl back.

One shot.

Casper was usually relatively good when it came to expressing his feelings. He had an incapability of holding his tongue when he wanted to, especially about matters he was passionate about. But, recently, it seemed like he simply couldn't get the words out. Not to the person that it really mattered, anyway.

His pen scribbled down some notes as he tried to listen as intently as possible to what the teacher at the front of class was saying, eyes behaving themselves by remaining focused on the board instead of the girl sitting beside him - the girl that had caused so much chaos and confusion in his head. Barney was someone that Casper enjoyed spending his time with, someone who helped him when he had problems with his work, someone that made him smile, even after having a tough day. She may not have realised it, but she'd become a part of the group of few people that Casper felt he could trust and that he couldn't help but feel protective over. Barney was just so wonderful to him, be it with her actions towards him or just the general way about her. He could never pinpoint exactly what it was that drew him closer to her, until he figured that it was pretty much everything.

Biting against his lower lip, the teen stared down at his notes, glancing over them hazily. He had barely been paying attention to what he was writing, just letting whatever words apparently glided through his ears be scribbled down on the page. It was obvious that he was distracted, especially as the margins on his pages were filled with mindless doodles and the occasional few words that didn't seem to make any sense. Oh god, this was stupid. He needed to tell her. Tell her properly, not whilst he was tipsy and not over text.

Casper could remember that day when Luke had told him to just get it over and done with, to accept whatever she had to say back to him once he revealed his feelings to her. But, fear of getting rejected by her, letting her know just what went on in his head, took the teen over the moment his eyes had settled upon her, standing just outside of her dorm. The smallest of smiles curled onto his lips as he thought about it. She'd looked so sweet, so wonderful, and it didn't take any effort on her part for that. There was so much about her that he admired, not just her looks, but how she generally was. He'd never asked her to help him keep up with his studies, but she did. He'd never asked her to look after him after he'd passed out, naked, near the girl's dorms, but she did. And he'd never asked her to so effortlessly rope him in, but she did.

The male's pale blue eyes flicked up towards the clock at the front of the class as a bell sounded to signal the end of the lesson. Had it really been an hour already? Crap. Another lesson wasted as he sat with the definite answers to his questions, but lacked the courage to carry out the actions described by them. Sighing, he began to pack away his things, sliding his chair out from under him as he stood himself up. At least it was the last lesson of the day, at least now he could try and find something to distract himself from his thoughts, instead of trying as hard as he could not to look over towards the centre of his affections.

Casper typically got quite wrapped up in his mind and the many things streaming through it. He may have been one that usually said what he was thinking, but this was one of the matters where he simply couldn't say anything aloud about it, not yet. But, he'd become so engrossed in the words filtering about within his cranium, that he simply didn't notice the girl leaning towards him, and it took several moments before he realised just what was happening.

Eyes widened slightly as the girl drew away, the sensation of her lips against his cheek still remaining, even seconds afterwards. His head turned to one side, gaze settling upon Barney's form, noting the sweet smile upon her lips. Confusion started to rope itself around the boy, a curious expression taking to his features as a sort of side smile tilted itself onto his face. It took a moment or two for the words to form, the only words that he could really think to say.

"Um, what was that for?" It was probably just a friendly gesture. She'd probably heard him sighing as he'd started to put his books away, supposing that maybe he was feeling a bit down. Yeah, that sounded logical. But even with a logical answer settled within him, he still couldn't not ask why she had decided to kiss his cheek.

"Because I like you."

She said it quite simply, only taking a brief pause between his question and her response. Her voice was calm and, to Casper, it could have sounded like she'd just decided what she wanted to do and did it. It didn't sound like she'd been debating such a thing for ages and only just got the courage to do it, like he had. After she had spoken, Barney turned slightly to pack away her books, placing them nicely and neatly into her bag.

So, she liked him.. like he liked her? Or did she mean that she just liked him as a friend? But then, how many friends kiss someone on the cheek to simply demonstrate that they think of them as a friend? Casper couldn't help but just stand there, silently dumbstruck for a few moments as he thought everything over. But then it occurred to him.. he'd been over thinking everything about this. Barney had just kissed him on the cheek and told him that she liked him, and he was too busy deciding how to take it instead of really reacting. Surely that was worse than doing something like admitting that he liked her, too.. allowing her to know just how much he liked her. Within a small second, Cas knew that he had to go for it. He simply couldn't lose this chance.

Nibbling softly against his lower lip, a hand reached out, fingers tugging gently on the side of the girl's school shirt, repeatedly doing so until she turned to face him again, noting how she slid her back upon her shoulder. Without taking a moment, Casper leant down slightly, this time, instead of feeling her lips against his cheek, he felt the same sensation upon his own lips. The hand that had been tugging on her shirt remained where it was, loosening only slightly, able to partly feel her skin through the material. He was kissing her. Casper Summers was finally kissing his crush, finally letting go of the reluctance he felt for letting her realise his true feelings.

Leaning back from the kiss, Casper managed the smallest of smiles, trying as hard as he could to maintain some kind of a calm exterior.

"I like you too," he murmured, teeth once more biting against his lower lip briefly, his nerves shining through in one simple action. "I really, really like you."

-to be completed-

Heels over head.

Casper had a crush. Oh god, he had a crush. He didn't want a crush, but there it was. There it always was, lurking about in the back of his mind.

Sipping gently on his cup of hot chocolate, his worried eyes stared over at the person sat in front of him, both hands clasping about the warm mug as if it were some form of life support. It had only really dawned on him that morning that he had a crush on someone, led on mostly by a sweet little dream he'd had the night before, involving things he didn't feel comfortable speaking aloud about. The more he thought about it, the more undeniable it became. He hadn't had a real crush on someone for ages, and it spurred a dreadful feeling in his chest every single time that he tried to think of ways to possibly get around it. And that was how he ended up at Starbucks.

Casper hadn't been at the school for very long. A mere couple of weeks, really, seeing as he hadn't attended the school until after a week of arriving in France. And in that week, he had found that one of the best places to spend his hours was the small, comfortable coffee shop, especially as he had met someone there that seemed to have a wonderful insight into what people should do with their troubles. And that someone was the person sat in front of him, a questioning expression upon his features.

"So, you have a crush on some dude called Barney?"

"Yeah. I mean, no. Barney's a girl, Luke."

"Ohhh." Luke had been sat with Casper for the past ten minutes or so, still in his work uniform whilst the teen before him wore a pair of jeans and a royal blue t-shirt, his jacket rested over the back of the chair. "So, um.. what's the problem? Has she got a boyfriend or girlfriend or something already?"

Casper had never really thought about whether or not Barney was already seeing someone, and it was obvious as he began to look more contemplatively at his drink. He'd never seen her with anyone else.. but then, he hadn't seen her that much outside of their classes together. Not that he hadn't wanted to.. he just seemed to seize up every single time he attempted to bring up the topic of them maybe hanging out outside of class, or every time that he did see her outside of the classroom. He found it almost impossible to gather up enough courage to speak to her and, for anyone who knew Casper, this was a quite strange thing.

It was possibly one of the reasons why Luke and Casper had become relatively good friends in a short space of time - neither of them usually struggled to say what was on their mind, and they didn't usually mind all too much as to how others perceived them. But, it seemed that Casper just couldn't get this across with his new-found crush.

"I don't think she does. I mean, I hope she doesn't," the teen frowned down at his hot chocolate as he spoke, appearing almost disheartened by the fact there was a possibility of it. "Well, I mean I don't hope she's lonely or anything and I'm sure if she did have a boyfriend then he'd probably be amazing because she seems like the sort of person who makes good decisions. Not saying I'm a bad decision, bu-"

"Cas, you're babbling," Luke smiled, watching his friend from the other side of the table. "I get what you mean. So, what's this girl like, then?"

The younger male sighed as that question was asked, a brief silence filtering between them before he allowed himself to speak.
"She's wonderful." A small side smile spread itself across his lips, blue eyes flicking upwards to finally look back across to the older man in front of him. "She's smart, sweet.. she's really friendly, but not in a pushover kind of way. I could imagine her standing her ground against pretty much anyone." It seemed that the more he talked about her, the more that feeling in his chest seemed to swell. It was crazy. He'd only really realised that he had a crush on her that morning and it was already becoming unbearable, but he knew that there was almost no chance that he'd be able to act on these feelings..

"Why don't you ask her out then?"

"Because I'm a bumbling moron." Cas closed his eyes, head tilting back down at his cup, his fingers going to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Whenever I try to properly talk to her, I end up over thinking everything I say and.. then I start worrying that she thinks I'm an idiot, so I pretty much try to abruptly stop the conversation. Guh, I'm such a retard." He groaned under his breath, eyes remaining firmly shut as his mind simply rolled in the self pity he was creating for himself. Casper wasn't typically the sort of person that sat hand-in-hand with his pessimistic views, but there he was.. and it made him feel even more pathetic. He was glad that he was there with Luke, though, knowing that his friend would sympathize on some level with his troubles..

"Oh, come on, man up, dude." Eyes flicked open. Wait, what? "Casper, you're a nice guy and you're pretty easy on the eyes. The worst that can happen is that she can say no."

"No, the worst that can happen is she feels sorry for me, so says yes and then gradually starts to hate me. And then some day I find out that she's actually engaged to some big, tough guy that could snap me like a twig. Then I'd end up emotionally crushed and living on the streets because I started drinking at work and got fired for trying to have a brawl with the office shrub an-"

Smack.

"Ow! Why'd you slap me 'round the back of the head?"

"One, because I thought it'd be too mean to slap you 'round the face. And two, because you were babbling again. Seriously, man, just go and ask her out. The more time you spend worrying about it, the more anxiety you're going to build up for yourself. Just get it over with. If she says no, you can start on the road of recovery. If she says yes, then we can talk about how you're a bumbling moron with a wonderful girl on your arm." Luke smiled over at Casper, a reassuring tone to his features. "Come on, you can do it."

The teen nodded his head as he took in the older male's words, processing them gradually in his mind. He was right.. maybe he should just try and do this. Maybe everything would work out. Standing up from his chair, Casper grabbed a hold of his jacket and slipped it over his arms.
"You're right. I'm gonna do this. I'll go and see her right now." With that, and a short nod, he headed out the door of the coffee shop.

"Okay. I guess I'll pay for your hot chocolate, then!" Luke grinned and shook his head, deciding that he should maybe get back to work.

---

It took barely five minutes for him to be standing outside of Barney's dorm, fist held just a few centimetres away from the door in preparation to knock. He stood there, staring. Oh god, was he really about to do this? What if she said no? What if she wasn't there? What if some random, hot French dude answered the door, mumbling something unintelligible about screwing a purple and green dinosaur? Eyes widened and breath hitched in his throat, his arm acting of its own accord as his fist knocked against the wooden door before him. Crap. He'd knocked. Crap crap crap crap.

Mere seconds later, the door swung open, revealing the girl that made his heart thump harder in his chest, almost threatening to break out past his ribs. Over her legs were a pair of dark jeans whilst a simple purple shirt covered her torso. She looked just.. so cute, and her light smile made his mind swim with thoughts.
"Hi, Casper. What's up?"

"Buh.." Oh god, his words were failing him already. He needed to talk properly. He needed to manage those simple few words. "Bu-erm.. um, I.. I was, um.." 

'Oh, spit it out, you idiot.'

"Y-you, maybe.. I.." He breathed out of his nose after his failed words tumbled from his lips, brows coming together before.. he just gave up. Turning on his heel, he began to walk away from her dorm, hands slipping inside his jean pockets, feet ever speeding up the further down the corridor he got. Ignoring any questions that followed him, he simply rushed away, making his way down the main stairs until he was finally out in the fresh air. Sighing, he closed his eyes as his body faced out to the rest of the school grounds, hands going to rest at the back of his neck. He just couldn't do it. He didn't want her to find out he liked her.

He didn't want her to reject him.

I wish to be free, to be you and me.

The sweat-ridden skin of two stuck lightly together as heavy breaths were exchanged, one body lying next to the other, close enough for hips to be touching. The moments before had been so passionate and heated, and these seconds were taken to bask in the feelings of it all, taking in the sensations of pleasure running through both of their muscles. Josh's mind was almost a blur, his thoughts entirely focused on what had just happened, along with the attempts to control his steadily lightening breaths. His eyes drifted from the ceiling to gaze at the woman there beside him, a sort of side-smile spreading over his lips as he couldn't help but lean over once more and press a small kiss to her's before collapsing back down against the mattress.

A smile of her own drifted onto Ari's lips as she began to shift a little beneath the sheets, leaning over so that her cheek rested against his shoulder and her leg hooked over his own, enjoying the gentle sensations against her bare skin as Josh pulled her closer.

"I love it when we get to spend evenings like this.." She kept her words quiet, softly speaking against his neck and let her nose nuzzle against the teen's jawline. The pair had managed to arrange it so that they got to spend the entire evening together, both hoping that the Friday night hours would pass slowly. Josh couldn't help but admit that he enjoyed the time they spent together, too, especially the times when they had more than just an hour or two to themselves. He wasn't sure what it was that had made him grow so attached to Ari but, when they were apart, his mind refused to stop wandering back to her. He could sit there for ages, just thinking about her hair, her smiles, her laugh.. her expression when she attempted to be stern with him in class. They were things that he could just sit and recollect without growing bored, without really wanting to divert away from them.

"Me too." No matter how he felt, though, the male struggled to express all of these feelings that he had bubbling around in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't tell her that he thought about her so much, and he couldn't really tell her that he was growing more attached to her than he had first thought. After all, what they had was, at the start, more of a simple little student-teacher fling. That had been the plan in Josh's mind, at least.. but even after just a few weeks, these plans had changed. However, the teen still couldn't allow himself to grow too comfortable.. just in case.

Before starting the indescribable relationship with Ari, he'd gotten used to having that feeling of rejection stirring about in the back of his mind. It wasn't as if he never managed to charm girls around or anything like that, if anything, it was something he was particularly skilled at. The rejection he experienced was just from one thing, just one time, but it was something that mentally dragged him down more than anything. His ability was something he had grown up with, as with his sickness. But just that one experience of someone freaking out over it in the morning after spending the night with him.. it had stuck with him, and it had been a good few years since he fell asleep in someone else's bed, or allowed someone to witness just how sick he got every single morning after waking up.

And it was something he was dreading to let Ari know about.

Sighing softly, Josh pressed a small kiss to the top of Ari's head before moving himself a little beneath her, causing the woman to lift her head from his chest.

"I should probably get going," he gently said, steadily sitting himself up until his back was straightened up against the headboard, palms rested either side of him. He could tell by her change in expression that she had half been expecting those words to pass his lips, but also that she had been hoping that maybe they wouldn't.

"You know, you don't have to leave so early," the woman said quietly, also now sat up fully as her gaze followed Josh's movements to the other end of the bed, where he began to pick up some of his clothes. "You can always.. stay, if you want." For a few weeks now, she had toyed with the idea that maybe the reason that he always left before they could fall asleep, curled up in each other's arms, was because he wasn't sure if she was okay with it. After all, what they had was risky.. something that he knew she worried about frequently. The consequences of what they had if they were caught were.. well, it'd probably ruin what she had worked so hard for in the past few years. And she guessed that might be part of the reason why he always left.. that, or he just didn't want to fall into that comfortable relationship state with her.

Josh's eyes wandered over to Ari as he pulled up his boxers to his hips, and then began to pull his jeans up over his legs to follow.

"Um.." He hadn't really had to come up with an excuse for leaving before, and his mind struggled to quickly manifest something moderately believable. But then, the small white lie filtered past his lips, "I would, but.. Lend has been, um, struggling with nightmares a bit the past couple of nights. Like, nearly in tears kind of nightmares." A light smile couldn't help but emerge itself across Josh's lips no matter how hard he tried to control it as he spoke and, even though it wasn't true, that boy got scared often enough that it could be.

"I probably shouldn't leave him on his own until he gets over it."

"Oh, okay. Um, don't worry about it. I just thought I should.. let you know." That small smile Ari had sent him just simply made his heart drop in his chest, the obvious uncertainty that glimmered beneath her eyes. He could tell that.. well, maybe she was beginning to think that the only feelings he had for her were feelings of lust, and that was possibly the only reason he persisted in seeing her. Maybe he simply put up with those times when they'd just sit and have a few laughs together because he knew that they would fall into bed at some point or another. Because he always left, he could understand why it could flit through her thoughts.. and he wanted to so badly tell her that that wasn't it at all. Josh truly cared for her, more than he wanted to admit, he'd even bought her a gift to try and show this, but had yet to work up the right courage to give it to her. But, it was because he cared for her that he continued to tear himself away from her each night.

He just couldn't tell her. Not yet.

It was at that moment that an idea formed in Josh's mind, one that quickly brought his lips into a brighter smile than what he'd had before. Placing down his shirt upon the end of the bed, he crawled over to lay back beside Ari, noting the slight change in expression as he settled down.

"I'm sure Lend can wait long enough for you to go to sleep, though." A grin spread to match his own as she leaned up to press a small kiss to his lips before settling down with her back to him beneath the covers, whilst Josh rested beside her, one arm sliding to pull her closer to him. Despite the slight distance the duvet put between them, the comfort was still there, and it didn't take long for slumber to overtake the twenty-one year old.

And that was when he decided to get his present ready.

---

Alarm clocks were possibly one of the worst inventions in the history of anything. That was the thought that drifted through Ariana's mind as her ears picked up on that horrible beeping noise that she had grown so familiar with.Sliding her hand out from beneath the covers, eyes still closed, she attempted to slide the switch on her clock. However, as she felt about where her alarm usually lay, her mind clicked. It was Saturday. Why did she turn her alarm on last night? And it was then that she felt a different sensation beneath her fingertips, a soft velvety casing. Sliding her eyelids open, briefly allowing her eyes to adjust to the sunlight seeping through the curtains, her hazy vision fell upon a long, yet small, blue box on her bedside table. Brows furrowed partially as she stared at it questioningly, not entirely sure what to make of it with her mind still quite dazed from sleep.

Reaching over, she first turned off her alarm which rested just behind, before allowing his fingers to drift to the box, legs sliding out from beneath the covers until she sat entirely upright. Though her gaze was focused upon the case upon her bedside table, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something else.. two post-it notes had been stuck to her lamp, sat one on top of the other. Tilting her head slightly, Ari reached with her left hand, peeling off the first little note which read, "Go on, open it." in a familiar script. There had been a little arrow drawn in the corner, pointing towards the box. With a curious smile, she tilted the lid open, wondering just what it was that was waiting inside. It was another note, with a small smiley face drawn first. This time it read, 'Look down.' And as she did, Ari couldn't help but notice a slight difference about her neck, a difference that she wasn't that unfamiliar to her. Her gaze fell down to see the end of a thin, silver chain with a pendant hanging down to just above her chest. It was a small heart with a clear stone in the centre, quite simple yet elegant in how it looked.

Ariana's smile broadened as she looked at it, eyes only flicking upwards once she recalled the second post-it note on her lamp. Slipping it off with the tips of her fingers, she skimmed her eyes over the words. 'I hope you like it. I saw it and thought of you.'

Just seconds after reading that note, there was a knock at the door and Ari couldn't help but jump slightly, having been immersed in her happy little world.
"One second!" she shouted, sliding herself fully out of bed and grabbing her dressing gown to wrap around herself. It didn't take too long before she was standing behind the door to her home, fingers going to unlatch the lock to see who it was that had come to visit her quite early in the morning. Her heart soared as those brown eyes of her's fell to look upon Josh's deep blue irises, soaking in that wonderfully cheeky grin of his as he leant against the door frame?

"That wasn't too soppy or anything, was it?" he inquired, his grin not faultering, especially as Ari, instead of replying, simply leant upwards and pressed a delicate kiss to his lips, that usual worry of risks and consequences just melting away.